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I picture my ex when I'm making love to my current boyfriend!

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 August 2005) 5 Answers - (Newest, 11 March 2008)
A female , *msocute01 writes:

Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years on and off. But for thoes 3 years all I could think about is my ex boyfriend! I will be making love and I will picture my ex's face on his. I know this is really bad for my part, but I have no idea what to do!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008):

there is really nothing wrong with it at all. go with it and think about it as hard as you can, especially if it's bringing you pleasure.

when I make love to my wife, I pretend Im her ex lover giving it to her, it's great.

If you're able, share this fantasy with your bf, this is the ultimate intimacy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2007):

well, it all comes down to what your heart wants and thats obivious.... u didnt give much detail for me to really comment but if you and your ex still keep in contact, then maybe you should talk about it; maybe you guys will reconnect because its so obivious that you still have feelings for him. And three years huh, does he love you? if so, you have to break it off or talk to him about it before it gets any deeper,the more you hold on, the more you will hurt him... because it will come out one way or the other...

hope everything wors out

XoXo

~Jessica~

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2005):

I think that you still like your ex boyfriend. Does your boyfriend remind you of your ex when you make love as he does similar things? How did you end your relationship with your ex? Was it that he cheated on you? Think through some of these questions on your own and you might come to a conclusion about why you do this.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2005):

My first question would be is that the only time you think of your ex, during sex, or do you still think of your ex as a matter of routine?

If the latter is the case or really I believe that you are not really over your ex and are in what I call a 'rebound' relationship.

Even though you may not want to be alone, if your current boyfriend after 3 years has not gotten you over your ex, then maybe you should step back and assess yourself, your feelings for your current boyfriend and your relationship.

This may go deeper then you think.

This is all coming from some one who has been through this sweetie. I am now 31 and have been married for 8 years and with my husband for 9 years. After 9 years, I still think of my ex boyfriend, because I jumped into a relationship with my current husband on the rebound and even though I knew deep inside, I continued the relationship thinking that eventually I would get over my ex. Well I got married and here it is 9 years later and I still think of my ex. If I had to do it all over again, I would not have gotten into a relationship so soon after my break up and would have been more honest with myself, because like you back then when I was dating my now husband there was not a single day that went by that I didn't think of my ex.

And honestly it is not fair to your parter or to yourself.

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A female reader, Delila +, writes (1 September 2005):

Thats a tough one. As long as you keep it to yourself though you are not hurting anyone but I'm sure you feel guilty after. You could try making love with your eyes open, look at your boyfriends good bits, maybe his neck or shoulders, if you have to close your eyes imagine the face of Brad pitt or some other famous actor that turns you on. It is quite common for women to do this, you don't have to share the details with your boyfriend. You could also try thinking other sexy thoughts aswell, and stop trying not to think about your ex, thats a bit like trying not to think about the colour blue.

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