A
female
age
30-35,
*talep
writes:I've been dating my boyfriend, Dante, for 6 months now. When we first started seeing eachother he told me that he still technically "talked" to his ex girlfriend (they dated for 4 years) who lives about 500 miles away. When I found out I pretty much told him that I was out of the equation. A couple of weeks later she came and visited him and Dante said he and his ex broke off whatever they had and decided to remain friends. He said he wanted to be with me. All was great, I mean I couldn't forbid the guy from being friends with his ex. All was great until about a month ago I overheard him on the phone telling his ex that he missed her, and she said she did too. Perhaps I'm overreacting but I don't think this is appropriate friend behavior. I know he really cares about me. Maybe it is my own insecurities of not being able to live up to what she has done or why he can't forget her, but I don't think I can be second best. What can I do?
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male
reader, ALONSO80  +, writes (23 April 2009):
I told someone earlier nothing good can come out a friendship between your partner and their ex. you can't forbid him from being friends, but I personally woudln't date someone who's still hung up to their ex
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): very honest experience below. thanx for being open with the question, but i think shes more focused on how it makes her feel, and how to handle this. if your wife would have? i dont think your wife had much to do with your cheating. this isnt cheating, at least not yet.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): cant lie, i had an affair on my wife, we started out as exes talking as friends. she visited my town in the midwest, for her job, and before i knew it, we didnt cheat at that point but i started missing her like crazy. we had calls, told her i missed her, she like wise, a year after all those phone calls built up i cheated, i left my wife and kid. then my ex got pregnant and it want mine. now im out trying to find love, my wife wont have me. cant say i fault her man. it could start off imple, but let me say. we men don't let go of our pasts easy and if my wife wollduve said she felt something i might have stopped before it got there.
ps that was the first time/ only time i chaeted on my wife. together then but 6 years. she was the local beauty queen, perfect man jsit pefect
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): kick him in the loins!! horrid beast doesnt know what a good woman he has infront of him. i say casually call your ex in the next room- or let him think you are. and just be cool about the whole thing. play with his head. leave in the middle of the night, come home the next afternoon. when he asks where you been, say, sorry sweetie, did yoo miss me? or did you mistaken me for that cum dumpster you call your ex?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): First of all, another guy's behavior doesn't make you insecure.
Second, he should NOT talk like that to another girl. Period. I'm glad you had this opportunity to see what he has really gotten himself into. It's a sinking ship when you are with a partner whose passion is divided. You may want to warn him if he doesn't clear up his feelings for her, then he deserves to have her full time without you.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (23 April 2009):
 I suggest you wait and see what happens. As she is 500 miles away I think that you can relax. If he is not hiding anything from you regarding the ex, then no need to panic.
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