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I only like much older men, guys my age just don't do it for me. Has anyone else felt this way?

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 April 2007) 57 Answers - (Newest, 7 December 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Recently, I have realised that I only like much older men than me, I have dated guys my age but it just doesn't do it for me. I'm not talking a couple of years older either, I mean men in their 30s and 40s. Now I have never had a relationship with an older man, and a bad experience has left me wondering if it's just the fantasy I like. Has anybody else ever felt like this? Any advice is much appreciated.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010):

I am 19 years old and i have never dated someone around my age! I am currently crushing on a man who is 36 and i am just out of a relationship with a 29 year old. I am really attracted to guys in there late 30s early 40s, always have been as far as i can remember. I love their maturity and life experience. They also satisfy me sexually compared to someome around my own age. It's definitely normal and can't be helped :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010):

I'm 21 and I'm totally the same. I more attracted to guys in their late 20's and 30's. Young guys just don't do it for me

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A male reader, oopslookout United States +, writes (26 November 2010):

oopslookout agony auntWow I am glad I see these questions. I am a 46yo male and thought I was a freak for likeing girls around eightrrn nd nineteen. Thanks for posting your question. It makes me look at myself more normal.I personally like the openness of the just legal girls

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010):

Wow I never realized their are more ppl like us out theis. I am a 46 yo male and am very attracted to girls your age. I'm not sure why. I am just glad their are more like me. I hope you and myself find that one we are looking for.

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A male reader, oldermanlikesyngfems United States +, writes (20 November 2010):

I'm an older man so I can tell what it is like on the other side of the fence. I'm always looking for ynger females to be friends with.....it is very special when it works out good.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010):

I'm an eighteen year old woman and I feel the same way. I used to like boys my age but as I got older I just wasnt attracted to them anymore. Recently, I've been secretly been crushing on a professor of mine. He is forty-five and completly charming. I wish I could say this was just a faze, but I truly beleive this might be how I am. It's not because I didnt have a father figure or I'm seeking more maturity, I just seem to like older men. So, you're not alone.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010):

I'm 22 and I'm in love with a 53 years old man. I'm glad I found this post. I've been thinking about this for a while and I couldnt talk about this to anyone. I tried telling my best friend once, but even she could not understand. It's just nice to know I'm not the only one :)

Good luck with your love life!

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A female reader, lizk United Kingdom +, writes (9 October 2010):

I'm 21 and most of my friends are in their 30's-40's.

I find myself very attracted to middle-aged men, as old as mid 50's. They tend to be left-wing, a bit scruffy, good natured and fairly quiet.

Sometimes I am concerned over this because I worry it might be to do with the fact that I don't really get on with my father, and am looking for my ideal father figure in a potential romantic relationship. I just don't know.

I do find men of this age more physically appealing also.

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A female reader, Zizzy Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (22 July 2010):

I have. Still do. Ever since I was 13 I liked guys who were like in their mid twenties. Okay so my favourite actors were that much older. They just seemed more mature, and had their lives together. Guys my age were just immature.

Now I'm 24 and I like guys in their early thirties. I don't think I can date anyone my age or younger.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010):

The exact same way with me. Im 15 but im only attracted to older men. Most of them feel the same way about me its just that there scared of the legal issue. Damn.

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A male reader, indn178 United States +, writes (8 June 2010):

indn178 agony auntYeah I'm an older guy that has dated younger women for most of my life. I don't date anyone under age or anything like that. Younger women like to do stuff and go places that is fun. Older women that I have met... like to stay home, watch TV,and complain about getting older. I say when your alive you should live. And if a woman dose not like me because I'm older than her...oh well that's her problem. I'll find another young woman to have fun with.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2010):

I feel the same way! I'm turning 18 in May this year, and I just LOVE older man, at the age of 30 + (even 50 year olds are so sexy!) =) I don't know why I'm attracted to them but I just am. I cannot talk about this topic with my friends, I did it ones and they didn't understand, they just laughed at me and thought it's ugly! I'm from Germany, and it's rather hard to find an older man who is willing to date a younger woman over here! They don't exactly wear T-Shirts saying "Hey I like young woman!" =) I had some sort of relationship with a 37 year old man... it didn't work out, I was just in 7th grade...too young, but now I'm 18 and I'm so ready to talk to an intelligent man who can teach me things and who is experienced! I flirt with older man, but nothing serious happens... guess I gotta keep searching for my 40s sexy man =D

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010):

I'm 20 years old, and it's only within the past year and a half that I became really attracted to men who are 8-15 years older than I am. There are guys my age for sure who are mature, I know that. But, I just find older men more attractive and sexy; they are nicer, and easier to talk to, and I like that they can teach me things. They understand me better. I just find them so much more open and more fun to be around. Now in saying all this, that doesn't mean I'm completely cutting guys around my age - could be missing out on something really special too.

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A male reader, bharat mehta India +, writes (7 January 2010):

bharat mehta agony aunt By old man, you really refer 'maturity'.

And, as a old man I am saying here, 'maturity' has nothing to do with age, but with intelligence. You can see good maturity in teen age also, because there is no fixed rule. So, think about your choice quite in logical order and not on emotional plane. May be you have bad experience with your same age person, but your experience cannot make any absolute rule also.

Be patient, and allow second thought. I appreciate your question on the ground that basically you love 'maturity' and interpret that it is not fixed with age.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010):

you are not alone! i am a 16 year old girl and i refuse to date guys my age, or even close to it. they are immature and only want one thing. i'm attracted to men in their 30s and 40s. i thought i was just weird for wanting them, but i guess it's just something some girls like.

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A male reader, ian43uk United Kingdom +, writes (2 January 2010):

I am a 43 yr old guy, and i dont think there is anything wrong with a younger woman being attracted to an older man, we all have our own individual preferences about the partner we would like, and just because there is a big age difference doesnt make it wrong (as long as neither partner is under age of course, then it would be totally wrong).

All I would say is, please be very careful.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009):

YEEEEEES!!! mEEEEE!!! Okay, as of right now, I'm 15 & I'm in love with a 63-year-old. It's depressing because since it's unrequited, I just want to cry :

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2009):

I feel exactly the same way--I'm eighteen and I started to notice I think in my junior year of high school (and it involves the same age range). It's since been a very consistent thing for me and I've felt very alone in this attitude--I've never met anyone who has felt this way, so I'm glad I found this post! The attraction to older men also seems to be generally reciprocated but I've never had an actual relationship. In fact I've never even dated anyone, but after observation and reflection I've come to the conclusion that it's because a good age gap would work best for me...In my case and yours I think the thing to do is be patient. I'm resigned to the fact that it may be a few years or more before I can be in such a relationship without its being taboo.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009):

im 28 and just started seeing a 17 yr old. and i feel theres nothing wrong with this at all. shes very mature and im very immature. i think this is a good mix. we fell hard for eachother and i think i may be in love. girls my age and even older than me are more immature than she is.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2009):

well I have the same problem. Guys my age are just so immature... all through my teens even I've always had my eye on married men...it was like they were hardly worth my time unless their missus poped one out...weird I know. Maybe it's because younger guys seem desperate and they're only out for one thing; whereas you know married men won't mess you around...

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A male reader, Pegasus1963 United Kingdom +, writes (21 August 2008):

I think younger women like older guys becaue of the security and you wont get messed around off them because they are looking to settle down in their 40's. I personally think that age is but a number and if you love someone , you love them for who they are and not what they are or how old. i get on better with younger women than older women. Thats just me though:)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008):

I'm glad I found this thread.

I'm 48 and have always enjoyed the company of younger women. When I was 38 I dated a couple of 19 yr olds and when in my early 40's dated some ladies in their late 20's.

Yes I have to admit that a lot of my interest in younger women is sexual, but it is also informative and fun and interesting talking to and spending time with someone so much younger, hearing their thoughts and views on life and love and, well, just everything.

Currently dating a woman who is a year older than me andI'm bored to death. She's so damn mature and everything is about being an adult and conforming and business.

Ok, maybe I'm immature for my ager, but I like to have fun, let loose and not worry about what people will think ( to a reasonable extent).

Life is short,why live it according to other peoples rules and values?

tall_guy38

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008):

yes i am also dating a guy that is 30. i am 17 and idk i just do better with guys older then me. i think its fine just be careful thats

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008):

I have the exact same issue in my life. I love older men. Guys my age are so immature. I have this issue resolved in my life. I have figured out why we don't like guys our own age is that most don't know what they want in life yet, don't have plans for the future, etc. But men that are in their 30's and 40's know what they want out of life. Hope I helped!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2008):

I can completly agree with you, I have found the exact same thing. I think it's partly to do with maturity of younger men (boys... but I have always found that older men "do it" for me also :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008):

hi there. yes I have been this way probably since i was 17, I don't know why, my sister thinks its got something to do with wanting in your partner a father figure and that you are attracted to what reminds you of your dad, someone who will protect you and guild yo. but that is not always the case? but all know is I wish it was normal and I didn't feel so ashamed about it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2008):

I am a 48 year old male, although I do look around 32 as most people tell me, my girlfriend of 18 months is 20 years old, there is not alot of sex involved, we are more likely to just enjoy each others company and the security it offers.

She is quite mature for her age, I am certainly not immature, I manage a large company, I do like younger clothing fashions and music but I think my girlfriend is attracted to my psychological strength & maturity.

I am more worried in my thoughts of dying halfway through her life and leaving her alone in the world. I know she will find someone and move on but I still worry about the pain she will feel.

I was in a relationship/marriage for 25 years earlier in my life to a woman my own age but her thinking aged too fast for my liking.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2008):

hello.

Writer, I have felt this way and still am feeling it. I happen to be a 17 in love with a 43 year old man. I'm not in it because of the relationship with my father, immaturity of boys my age, or whatever. I'm in it for the love. My whole family has had some sort of an age difference with their lovers and I personally don't have a problem with it. Sure, some people may not approve, but it's just the way they were brought up & the way they think. I happen to be a happy, healthy young lady just enjoying life. The guy I'm with is NOT immature...there isn't anything wrong with him, I should know this kind of stuff. I'm friends with his ex's and they talk to me all of the time! Sure, that may sound a little weird to some of you, but not to me.

I hope this helped.

You will never be alone in the way you feel about older men, trust me!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2008):

hi

I am nearly 40 years and have recently been engaged in a relationship with a young lady 20 years younger than me. The problem I seem to find is that people seem to look upon me as a bit of a wierdo. It bothers me on one level but I cant help how I feel for this beautiful young woman,

My point is ....is this wrong?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2007):

I don't think there is anything wrong with dating older man. I've always done that, in fact, when I was 16 I was dating a 41 year old. Now that I'm 30, my current partner is 55. The only problem is the society at large. People immediately assume that you're after the guy's money.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007):

I totally reject the idea that females have to look to older males for maturity. It's a self-serving anti-male bias that the culture supports for no good reason.

The biological "proof" for this age/maturity difference has never convinced me at all. I just knew a ton of girls my own age as a teenager who ignored the actually-mature boys, spent all their time around all the immature boys, and then they complained that all boys their age were just immature.

Older men who are interested in teenage girls are immature themselves. No wonder they get along so well.

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A female reader, samohir Macedonia +, writes (7 November 2007):

samohir agony auntI have always been attracted to Older guys. Dont find it wierd.. Simply i cannot find myself neither in communication nor in understanding nor with thing im interested with guys my age.

There is nothing wrong with it

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A male reader, cyclekarl United Kingdom +, writes (5 November 2007):

I am a 40 year old man,I think age is just a number,some 16 year old girls I know are more grown up than my 25 year old half brother,I must admit a lot of girls that age look gorgeous,but most are a bit to silly and narrow minded for my liking,but as long as she is open minded and friendly and I was still interested in women,I would have no problem dating a 16 year old girl,but I'm no looker and have little money or possessions,so it will never happen.

Karl

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007):

I am a 40 year old man,I think age is just a number,some 16 year old girls I know are more grown up than my 25 year old half brother,I must admit a lot of girls that age look gorgeous,but most are a bit to silly and narrow minded for my liking,but as long as she is open minded and friendly and I was still interested in women,I would have no problem dating a 16 year old girl,but I'm no looker and have little money or possessions,so it will never happen.

Karl

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A female reader, rockstar0421 United States +, writes (4 November 2007):

I Am 21 Dating A Man That Is 50. I Do Not Find It Weird. However I Know My Family Would Not Accept It. What Can I Do.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007):

I just recently met a guy thats about 10 years older than me and we got along amazingly, but when we first started talking he would always refer to the fact that im younger and acted more like a brother towards me, telling me to watch out for certain guys and "especially older guys" but recently he's started to use phrase "if you were older..." much more and whenever he talks about his ex's he always emphasizes on ex. And im seriously falling for him but hes amazing and would never do anything with me, because of the age difference. And its soo confusing because he understands me so well and always tells me that he cant believe im only 15. The wierdest part? His 20-some odd year old friends hit on me too :S. i dont understand older guys so ive decided to stay away and stick to guys my age. (and no he is not socially akward, just in case anyone wants to know haha)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007):

I'll bet 99-to-1 that you didn't have a decent male role model growing up. Your desire for older men is fulfilling that emotional need.

But it's not great for relationships. Older men who are actually interested in 16-year-olds are NOT what you wanna mess with.

And realize that the "boys my age are just not mature" thing is crap. Total crap. It's not that you can't find mature men out there, it's just that the mature men aren't the ones who will want to mess with a teenager like you. (You probably feel you're a "mature" teenage girl . . . how eager are you to mess with 14-year-old boys?)

And furthurmore, some people would also argue against the idea that females mature faster than males. Society recognizes & accepts women in "adult" situations younger than men, but that's not the same thing as saying women are actually more mature. Women like older men more than men like older women, but that's also not the same thing as saying women actually ARE more mature.

The fact is that playing video games all weekend or acting "immature" is something that grown men do all the time. And there are also a lot of teenage boys who have more emotional maturity than most adults. And there are a lot of teenage girls who get into all the clubs, and love older men, and act VERY mature . . . and they're totally basket-cases in terms of REAL maturity.

REAL male maturity involves doing things like not dating 17yo girls when you're 38 even though they're easy f*cks.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007):

Hi i read the question and i have the same, it's been happening for a few years- different friends of my parents-men in their late 30's and early 40's who stay over, but the thing is i already fancy people my own age aswell-14years. It's kinda annoying because the three that i have liked before are going out with people/ or married, i just let the feelings pass.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007):

well maybe your looking for a father figure?..was your dad around when you were growing up?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2007):

I'm 28, and I'm now seeing a guy who's 48, and at first it seemed a little weird to me, but he's so sweet, and I just tried dating a 24 year old, and sometimes younger guys just don't have the maturity that older guys do, so I'm giving this older guy a chance..=)

Wish me luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2007):

It's Nice To Know There Are Others Too, I Always Seem To Like Guys Way Older Than Me Like In There 30's Rather Than Guys My Age, Sometimes Makes Me Wish I Was Older.

Lv K x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2007):

Well.. i m 17 n my love interest is 27... i dont know what it is... [coz ppl tell me im infatuated n i feel its love.... n they tell me any1 whoz infatuated feels its love].... When there's eye contact i feel some kind of vibes and i can never imagine any1 els who cud replace him... i am pretty sure that i wouldnt date any1 els...even if my feelings are unrequited... and even if i would date any1 it would b only in his presence n that too just to hurt him [if at all he cares]... i feel guys my age are not really bad but theres some kind of a stability that i am looking for in my man... n i'v perceived him to be this mr. perfect!!! But i dont know whats in store for me... i have some clues but they're so subtle, n this is completely killing me...lolz sorry i started with my complaints in here.... But i guess there's something more to a woman when she cannot think of guys her age...thats prolly coz she's not the one whoz interested in frivolous affairs... she's pretty much serious n wants a steady n a realtionship which has a lot f respect, security n stability....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2007):

Hey! It's good to know that theirs a girl out their who feels the same way about guys as I do. I'm 22 and I'm completely and totally in love with a 42 year old man. I've always loved older men because the guys my age were always SOOO immature. I agree with you and hope you know that theirs nothing at all wrong with loving older men. My best friend got married 2 years ago to a man 13 years her senior and they have SUCH a great relationship. Anyone can see that they're ment for eachother. The man I'm dating now is (to me) the sweetest, most good hearted man on the face of this earth and I'm not going to let any age difference get between our relationship! Okay, that's all I wanted to say. I hope my comment was helpful!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2007):

I just turned 20, but I have only like older men since I was 15. I don't take a second glance at people that look like they could be under 35. You are probably attracted to the fantasy and the security they provide, but at the same time you can't help who you are attracted too. I am in a relationship with a man right now and the sex is amazing and we get along so much better than anyone my age. You are probably just more mature than the guys your age and want someone who can give you more. Embrace it. older men are so much better. have fun!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2007):

I like a guy who is 11 years older than me

but he looks younger i would never even think about dating

a guy my age younger or a year older i like guys

3 to .. 14 15ish years older than me

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2007):

It just amazes me how much is spoken about how little guys understand girls, and how much it's assumed girls understand guys!... and yet,looking at the female comments, it's like seeing toddler trying to grapple with quantem physics!

Not only do you not understand guys, you don't understand yrselves either... when i was younger I was jealous of how many young girls were dating/fancying/doing whatever with older guys - not all, but a lot of young girls just do fancy much older guys...'twas ever thus, just as when I was young I fancied my mum's friends...+

I'm praying for the day that my sex drive decreases as I've been promised it would... but if anything it gets stronger, and contrary to poular belief that includes my erections too - it's assumed on both sides sex drive deminnishes with age, probably 'cos people get (In some cases) bored with their long term partners and assume it's due to age! All this bullshit about oh, they haven't committed yet etc, is so naive - the world has orbitted the sun a certain ammout of times since you were born - give it a number if you want, but to assume it has any significance is as dumb as any other supersticion!

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A female reader, confussed????? United Kingdom +, writes (27 April 2007):

Hi im 16 and feel the same, i have dated guys from 16-18 and have had enough, am now attracted to men who are 24+ and it makes it quite hard to try to have any kind of relationship with them because you feel they may not return it. x

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A female reader, sarava United States +, writes (19 April 2007):

sarava agony auntI personally like men who are btwn 40-45 and I'm 29.. I have to say in caution tho, many woman (especially much younger woman) fall into the fantasy that older men are more put together and are ready to settle into a mature relationship. This can be true for some, but you MUST beware of the "Defectives"... These men are more commonly known as the Ambivalent Man.. They are really relationship phobes who have no idea they are like this, and usually are charming, interesting, interested but loveless. They treat you like gold until they start having "That lovin' feelin'" then they're gone. They want all the good things in life like marriage and kids, but have never found their Mrs. Perfect.. They are completely jaded... Signs of these men are men who are 40 and up who have never been married or who hardly engage in relationships...

I recently had a fall-out with a 41 yr old man who swore he had this great connection with me,then broke up with me.. we got together and he actually started talking about the future.. 1 week later he broke up with me AGAIN, because he said he wasnt feelin the LOVE, now he's calling me again.. Its hard because he is a family friend, and sweet as can be, but not relationship material... BE CAREFUL please! there are alot of men like this, but there are also alot of decent older guys too, you just have to weave thru the Defectives.. lol

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2007):

Oh gosh no, you won't be alone forever. So do you really want a much older, 30-40ish bf or do you just want a mature-thinking bf---period? Please distinquish that fact. There are many nice, respectful, decent, mature guys out there who are not much older than you. Perhaps you have to simply look at your choices in whom you have selected, in your past. We all want a partner in our life, dear. Some of us just have to wait longer than others. It really sounds like you are mature for your age, thus drawing the conclusions, that 'only' a middle aged man would be more suitable for you. I would keep this a fantasy, if I were you. While I agree that guys your age tend to be immature and I can understand dating guys perhaps 5-7 years older than you, but dating older men (30's-40's) does have it's drawbacks. We know that many middle aged men are physically and very, very sexually attracted to younger females (teen girls, included) but a good majority of them keep that a fantasy as well, and never act on it. Why? Because they soon realize that a 'self-serving, needy sexual attraction' is not what totally encompasses a quality, good, loving, respectful relationship with anyone,let alone an adolescent. Compatibility, financial equality, mutual independence, maturity, common interests, and communication are vital, too. They do realize that a female your age can't measure up to those important components, at least not until you are older and have experienced life a bit. Think about it. You are still living at home, dependant on parents that likely will have more in common with an older bf than you do....you are on the cusp of adulthood and you need to experience being totally independent, getting a career underway and having some great life experiences. A lot of older men have already experienced life and are gearing down.

So...if you are to ever date a man this age, please ask yourself 'why' he's interested in you. Does he perhaps have difficulty communicating with woman his own age? Or does he need the age difference to put him in a position of authority in the relationship – a position he might not be able to pull off with a woman his own age? Is it purely sexual? If he seriously wanted a younger woman, to date and love...why not a female who is in her mid-20's and is independantly living her own life and making her own decisions. The idea of dating a teen girl for many misguided, older men, is all about 'ego' and manipulation. I know so many older, middle aged guys who are disturbed by their peers, who date girls your age. Why? Because these older guys I know, have moral compasses and common sense. They can control where their minds go, when seeing a female adolecsent. Many of them have daughters, close to you age and are disturbed that older guys 'desire' females your age. They know that older guys like them that date teen girls, are in a position of power, both emotionally and financially. The realize that older guys have absolutely nothing in conmmon with a teen girl and it's likely a pure sexual drive, that is controlling them. They know that this isn't respecting the young female for what she brings to the relationship as far as intellect, equality, life experience, financial stability and maturity. And let's face it-you are still developing and creating yourlife path and future. So how can bring those componenets to an adult relationship. It 's a very, very unbalanced union. So really....why does he want her? Just think about that. You may find that 'selfish wants' is driving his decision to go after a girl your age.

And what about meeting a fellow closer to your age, that wants to start a family, begin a wonderful married life with you, someday. Men in the older, age group often have been married, divorced and have had kids. So there is a huge 'baggage component' to think of. Ex-wives and kids are often a large, ongoing part of their lives. Some even have children close to your age. Many men this age, have huge alimony/child support obligations, as well as emotional commitments to their kids and ex-wives. Many of these men do not want further children or to get married. They are content with the kids they already have. They want to have fun, without the constraints of raising a family again and aho can blame them. With an older man, you both could be at opposite ends of the spectrum, as far as life goals go. If that happens, then differences in relationship values becomes a big conflict.

Hun, much older guys seem attractive to you because you had some bad stuff happen to you. Just rationalize and realize not all young men are like the guys, you know. Give yourself a chance to meet someone closer to your age that shares your worldview, your values, your maturity and good character. I just wanted to point out some challenges that you could face when dating much older men.Everyone is diverse and brings positive and negative things to the table. But as far as a teen girl dating an older, middle aged guy...wait. Wait until you have made your way into the world. Educate yourself, get an awesome career underway..that is empowering your future. I state this to all young females. From that comes increased self-esteem, and a confidence to take on the world and do something for yourself. It's well worth the struggles knowing that in the end, you made it all on your own. Don't date older guys, or anyone, thinking they will give you a happy life. That is your job, sweety. Good luck and hang in there, you will meet that wonderful young man who wants to create a wonderful relationship...just with you.

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (17 April 2007):

TELLULAH agony auntHi,

I think its because they seem more charming, and kind towards you. But they would wouldnt they?. Can you imagine a man of 40 treating a woman of 40 the same way he would treat a 20 year old girl. If he was lucky enough to get one in the first place, he would be terrified of losing her.

I know Im just jelous, because to find someone older than me by 20-30 years they would probably be dead. Oh well I guess we all get old sometime dont we. XX

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Yeah I thought it has nothing to do with my relationship with my dad, we get on fine. I just don't think that the kind of guys i'm interested in would ever be interested in a 17 year old - i am worried this means i'll be alone forever!!!

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A female reader, thewiseone United States +, writes (17 April 2007):

Females having a relationship with older man intimately has nothing to do with whatever relationship they previously or still have with their Father. There is no logic in that, maybe if they were just friends but being intimate with someone older has no connection whatsoever!

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A female reader, chrissy32789 United States +, writes (16 April 2007):

chrissy32789 agony auntDear anonymous writer,

There is alot of girls out there that find they like the older men better for many of reason, guys the same age as you are more of a heart break then older guys, when i was 15 i was with a guy my age he treated me like i was a sex toy then i dated a 30 year old and he treated me like i was a queen...now i am dating a 25 year old and he he treats me soooo much better so yes older guys are better but you just have to watch out for the law!

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A female reader, x Hit By Cupids Poison Arrow x United Kingdom +, writes (16 April 2007):

Yes, I have found this also. I tend to go for guys in the age range of 19-23, though I am just 17. I think as long as you are sensible, comfortable and honest about everything with yourself and others around you, age (except below the age of consent) doesn't matter.

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A female reader, maria14r United States +, writes (16 April 2007):

you know what i have thought about this before. there are some older men that are attractive. like my ex's dad he really liked me and i was starting to like him but i couldnt cuz then everyone would tell me that it was nasty for me to be with an older man. i would really like to experience that. maybe i will one day.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (16 April 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntHow's your relationship with your father? Sometimes young girls get infatuated with older men because they have no or a poor relationship with their fathers. They are look for a substitute. Boys your age do mature slower than girls but they finally get there and it's worth the wait.

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A female reader, Mystic Moo United Kingdom +, writes (16 April 2007):

Mystic Moo agony auntI know exactly what you mean. I am in love with a man 21 years older than me and I've realised that most boys I know my age are idiots. I don't think age gaps should ruin what feelings you have for others and there's probably nothing wrong. Maybe one day you'll find the right person for you who is your age. Or maybe older. It's your choice. Also things like that are really unpredictable so you can't really help what you think.

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