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I only like him as a friend, what shall I do?

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Question - (31 May 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 31 May 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *arah nelson writes:

I really like this boy right and i always have and all of my friends know, but one of them has started going out with him.. i dont know what to do because i really like him but i cant ask him out or anything but i sometimes go places with them ...she is a shy girlfriend.. i have been out with him before and it only lasted a week or 2 and it was the happiest 2 weeks of my life!he is really good lookig and a couple of other people but i really like him and i always think of him , when she sleeps it feels strange because like normally you would like ring your boyfriend and things but they hardly talk so its hard to tell if evrythings goin well!.. i also like his brother though because he iss soo handome but he is a little older than me and i am almost certain that he doesnt like me .at swimming before i noticed that he was helping me fix my goggles and things then when we went back to his house his brother mentioned that i should kiss him or something and i said nooo and said that I wouldnt dare kiss him to make sure he didnt suspect anything but he didnt answer then later on he mentioned it again and he was really quick on saying, now i dont know what to do because my friends boyfriend thinks that i fancy his other brother but i dont i like him as a friend ..what should i o? can you help me?

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A female reader, Melanne United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2007):

Melanne agony auntHi there seems to be a lot of confusion on the one hand it sounds like you feel sad because your friend has just started dating your friend who you feel very strongly about. I hear you when you say you don't know what to do, but how would your friend feel if you started going out with this guy? I know you really like him, but is there a sense of danger there because your friend is going out with him? I'm not saying there is just making a suggestion for you to think about.

You say you went out with him before, but it only last for about a week to two weeks. That isn't a long time. What happened? If you couldn't be with him for longer than that doesn't that say something? Maybe you were just meant to be friends with each other. I know you say it was the happiest days of your life, but it sounds like you have a lot of living to do.

You say he is really good looking. Is it his looks that attracts you or do the two of you really get on well together. I know this may sound harsh but, there's more to a relationship than looks.

You seem concerned that your friend is not getting on well with her boyfriend, but this does not suggest that they are not happy together. You say you like his older brother too. What if you and your friends boyfriend got together and you then decided that you prefered his brother. I'm sorry to say this but it sounds a recipe to disaster. I feel bad that I've nothing good to say, but you sound so confused with the way your life is. Are you looking for something that you cannot have? Are you lonely and want someone to fill that gap? Maybe it would be best if you chose someone other than your friends boyfriend because in the end it could cause the loss of friendship not only between your friend but, also with the guy you like. This could end up with you being in a worse situation that you are now.

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