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*hortround59
writes: Ok,i'm married,and have lost my desire for sex with my wife,but have a desire to have sex with almost every female i come across! When i meet another woman,even for just a minute,i'm wondering what it would be like to have her! It's consuming me,can anyone offer some suggestions? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2012): Get a grip dude.
Okay, at least you are being honest and identifying the problem.
Do something to change it. Remember why you fell in love with her in the first place...sure people change and evolve, but you need to get back what you had and grab hold and don't let go.
there is nothing to justify cheating and it will only be a temporary fix...it's rough out there being single...think about all the good things you have and what you have shared together, and create some new memories together.
Do something special for your wife, initiate sex and really really look at her and make it special. Reignite that spark...come on ....you can do it!
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (14 September 2012):
 Read the book: Cupid's poisoned arrow, by Marnia Robinson.
It's about how to maintain connection and sexual energy in a long term relationship.
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male
reader, rescuer01 +, writes (14 September 2012):
I agree with BondGirl172,I am a male and I have have had those feelings every since I got with my wife and she is the ONLY woman whom I have every had sex with,But I know that if I truly loved her,that I can't cheat on her no matter how much I want sex with another woman,so the next best thing that I do is I mastrubates when I am at home alone.Like BondGirl said,there are others out there who is married have wondered the same thing,but that don't mean that they has to act on it.If I was you,I would REALLY think this thing thru,because once you do this,it's NO! turning the clock back so to speak.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 September 2012):
 I want to have sex with my partner and still wonder about sex with other people...
if you do not want sex with your wife you need to figure out if your wife is ok with that. I suggest asking her if she's ok with a sexless marriage... if she is, well then you two can decided from there what to do.
a. stay together and be sexless together
b. stay together and work on why you both have lost your libido for each other (speaks to other problems in the marriage)
c. stay together and have lovers on the side while being totally open and honest about it with each other.
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female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (14 September 2012):
 Everyone wonders what it would be like to have sex with other people. The issue is...you have a wife. My suggestion would be that you home and masturbate like everyone else does when they are horny and shouldn't cheat on a spouse.
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female
reader, AbigailBradbury  +, writes (13 September 2012):
 Ok, this sounds like a common problem.
When you're married I think some things become routine. I don't mean this to sound awful and I'm not for one moment saying you don't love her, however.. When you first meet a woman it's exciting. You've reached the next stage with your wife. It's not honeymoon anymore, it's gone more serious. But everyone seems to think it's a bad thing, why should it be? The next stage can be great too! Just because you're not at it like rabbits anymore who's to say it can't be just as good. You're more kind to each other after the first stage. Basically, it means you can sit on separate sofas watching tv without making out, but being comfortable in each other's company. This doesn't make you a bad husband or mean you have "lost desire". It just means you aren't 17 anymore.
Don't let this get to you. Find ways to keep the relationship fun. Go out on "date nights". When you've been together a while you do have to work to keep the romance alive. Relationships aren't always "fun". But if you love her and can't imagine life without her then work at it.
Sure, you could have .. you know what, with all these women...but what would you actually gain? You would lose your wife and all you'd be is sexually pleased for about an hour. Is it worth it? Your wife has obviously stuck by you and that's worth more than a quick fling with the first woman you see.
good luck I hope it works out for you! :D
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female
reader, [?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] +, writes (13 September 2012):
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png) I feel bad for your wife, that's all I can say.. You should divorce her or separate if you feel you aren't as attached, don't just cheat on her like that. At least have the audacity to tell her how you feel.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2012): This what happens sometimes, you sound like you a little bit obsessed with the idea of having sex with someone new. You know when you go down that road it's hard to stop. You ll keep on doing it.
There are some help that you can get from professional relationship therapists. I personally don't believe in it, but you can try. But when it's gone it's gone.
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