A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I broke up a little over 5 months ago. It was a very painful breakup due to the fact that his decision to end our relationship was compeltly out of the blue. I didn't see it coming, neither did his family, friends or even his co-workers (everyone was genuinely shocked and kept asking me why we broke up because he wasn't telling them anything either). We were living together at the time and had been planning on getting married this summer, and when he left, he left me with a big mess to sort out alone (i.e. our apartment lease, joint bills, etc.). I still don't have closure as I'm not sure what happened to make him suddenly decided that he "couldn't see a future with me anymore" (a direct qoute from him the night he ended things). I did tell him before he left, that if he was serious about giving up on us, there would be no going back. With that in mind, he walked out on the life we were building together with no explaination as to why.Five months later, there has been no contact on my part to him. No phone calls, no crying, no drunk texts, absolutely nothing. The only time I ever contacted him was to tell him that he had a couple days to move his stuff out before I moved it to the dumpster for him (this was a few days after the breakup). So, no contact between the two of us. I've finally picked up the pieces and am starting to move on with my life and trying to heal from all the hurt I went through. Just the other night, he texted me out of the blue. This is what he said: "Just thought of you... Again... The Hunger Games is coming out on March 28th, just thought you should know." I loved that book series, and he knew that. What I don't get is why, after everything is all said and done, 1) he has the nerve to text me at all, and 2) he texts me about a movie coming out. It doesn't make sense to me, and frankly I'm not sure if I should respond or if I even want to. This text came about 3 days ago, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it mostly because it makes me feel some of the old hurt I thought I got through, all over again. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thanks everyone.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2012): Wow. What a jerk! I've been in a similar situation to yours many years ago. The jerk in question actually cheated on me and one day decided he needed "a break"? What ever the hell that meant! I was away on business when I returned to this rubbish and also to learn the whore moved in with him in his rubbish apartment. He wasn't worth my time or effort. Anyway, I blocked all contact from him, during this time he got the whore to harass me for a few years, and after he cowardly ran away and disappeared on her (as I learnt on the grapevine), he tried emailing me several times asking to meet up for coffee. No word of sorry I hurt you, or anything like that. My response was DELETE MESSAGE on the keyboard. I think he wanted to reunite because he realised the woman he cheated with and left me for was gutter-skank-rubbish. He never valued me then, why would he seriously value me now? We were engaged for crying out aloud! He was rubbish and I'm glad I moved on and it happened before actually marrying the jerk. You should consider the same - don't respond because it will kill him wondering why you haven't replied. And it is a way to cut the ice by telling you something which probably means something to him but not to you. As well it clearly shows that he has been thinking about you and needed a reason to contact you. Infact he's probably kicking himself for walking out on your like that and throwing away a bright future with you. Tough luck for him, he has to live with his regret and you should in no way respond and make him feel better about his decision.
A
female
reader, Fate100percent  +, writes (10 March 2012):
Well done you for dealing with a horrible break-up with such dignity. You should be proud of yourself.I think he is testing the water so to speak. (He's probably curious/a bit miffed that you never chased him! Wondering what you've been upto etc)It's your choice what you do in regards to texting him back, but you've done so well, do you want to ruin all the good work by texting back and forth to him? Do you want him back after the cowardly way he ended it with you last time?I think I would ignore it personally, and see if he texts again (let him feel a tiny bit of the rejection you felt when he up and left with no good reason). If he wants you back he should be on his knees grovelling face to face after the way he behaved!Keep us updated! x
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A
female
reader, Blonde68 +, writes (10 March 2012):
First of all, well done for remaining so strong - you may think that you haven't but believe me, you have done a fab job of controlling your emotions and not chasing him.
It really does annoy me however, how people think that they can walk in and out of our lives like they have done no wrong having completely broken us in two. I actually believe he is missing you - the reason I say this is because I split up with someone (very similar situation as yours) and 6 months on I too got a text just out of the blue.... and after a couple of texts back and fourth, he said those words "I miss you, its a shame we went out separate ways can we try again". But do you know what, I had moved on, I was so strong I amazed myself and told him no sorry, I will be friends with you but nothing more! He still texting me now, 2 years on with similar texts and I still give him the same answer and by god it feels good - yes I do have the odd occasion where I think mmmm Perhaps I should meet up, but then I remember how he treated me when it ended!
My advice to you is, remember how he walked out of your life without any explaination, how he broke your heart. Do you really want to risk having to go through all that again having come all this way! Remain strong - yes by all means reply if you feel you need to, if it will help you - but just remember how cold hearted he was towards you and don't be taken in by him!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (10 March 2012):
 I class myself as a pasifist but sometimes I read people's stories on here and they just make me want to kick people, and your ex boyfriend is one of them.
You are under no obligation to respond. So if you don't want to, don't, and even go as far as to block him so that he can't do this again.
The whole text thing is a mess, I agree, why is he texting, why text about a movie. Who knows why he is texting, if he really has something worth saying to you let him say it to your face!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2012): There is no way to know why he did this. You have to ask him and he may not know himself or be able to be honest about it if he does. My guess is he is trying to make contact with you and saying that this movie reminded you of him was his way of saying that he is thinking of you and that he misses you. It is easier than discussing what happened- it was a way to break the ice.
If you're totally moved on and you don't want any relationship/friendship or if it hurts you to be in touch with him then tell him not to contact you and that you'll be in touch if you want to. It may be helpful to ask him why he did this though to give yourself some sort of closure. Since you were planning to be married I think he owes you some explanation if you feel you need it now.
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