A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:This may sound a bit obscure, I'm just a bit confused! I broke up with my ex in the start of november because he moved away and we weren't strong enough for a long distance realtionship. He was my first serious boyfriend and although I was really upset about it, I thought I got over it ages ago and I've been with my current boyfriend since the end of december. (that situation was a bit complicated, my current boyfriend was in love with me months before I broke up with my ex so the case may be that I rushed into being with him before I was completely over my ex). Thing is, I don't know if its the sunny weather bringing back memories or just the time thats passed without any contact but I keep finding myself thinking about my ex. It's not that I want him back or anything, its kind of a sadness remembering times when I was with him and really missing him. I just want to understand why this is happening? I haven't spoken to him at all since we broke up, could it be that it was such a sudden break with no contact or anything to help with closure? We were really close, until he moved, I always wonder if hes ok and things like that. Also, because we didn't speak after we broke up, I don't know how he felt or anything, was he angry with me for giving up? Was he heart broken or was he not that bothered? I have all these thoughts and I can't really resolve them because it was so long ago. All I want really is to just be an aquaintance, see how he is now and again, and maybe that will cure my missing him. But would it be a bad idea to establish contact again? I'm also worried about seeing him again, if he comes back over summer, because I never had to face up to my grief over the break up because he was far away, all I had to do was push it away and forget. Sorry this is long-winded but I'm just wondering what the best thing is for me to do? And why I'm feeling like this?Any advice would be appreciated aunties and uncles, I just want to sort out the confusion in my head!xxxxx
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broke up, long distance, my ex Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, softballplaya  +, writes (27 April 2008):
 you could just out of the blue say hi!
no harm in saying hi or asking how someone is doing...i dont see a problem at all, thats what my ex did with me.
it was suprising but it made me realize i missed him too, anything could happen..keeping in touch is a good idea, it will all work out=]
let me know how it goes
take care!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you! I think if I speak to him, maybe just leave a myspace comment or something, it would help with missing him (just as a friend) because it means we haven't lost all contact completely. Thing is, it's been MONTHS with no contact whatsoever, won't it seem weird if I get in contact now? Also, because we didn't speak when we broke up, how do I know he doesn't hate me now? What could I say?
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A
female
reader, softballplaya +, writes (27 April 2008):
i know how you are feeling. It could be te slightest thing but yet if it has signifigance to your ex it will be in your mind all day. Then the memories start to unravel and you find yourself missing them and your surrounded by things that remind you of them but they arent there. You are probably feeling like this because you probably miss him and that normal. If he comes in contact while he is here then tell him how you feel, dont bottle your feelings inside yourself. For one its not healthy and two he might feel the same way and expressing feelings is good. Act as if nothing happened, go on living your life and focus on other things for now. Memories will always be with you, try to get your mind on other things
hope this helped =]
good luckk!
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A
female
reader, trixi +, writes (27 April 2008):
 what your feeling is totaly normal.i quite often think about my ex's & what they are up to.even the ones i dont like.so if you like him as a friend your bound to think about him.
its totaly your choice if you want to speak to him again,it may even make you realise that your not as in love with him as you think & you just want to be friends.
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