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I never get hit on!

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Question - (12 December 2010) 10 Answers - (Newest, 12 December 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am a 19 year old woman. I'm five foot four 115 pounds in very good shape. Have green eyes long blonde hair and I'm a model and a nurse. I'm friendly and I smile but men still NEVER approach me. I don't feel like I'm unattractive and I make eye contact and I smile. So why do I never get asked out or spoken to by men? Is it possible that because I'm so petite they think I'm younger then I am? I hate this and I want to know how to make myself seem more approachable.

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A male reader, Illithid United States +, writes (12 December 2010):

Illithid agony auntYou are young, attractive, thin, and even make eye contact, but it's entirely possible that men think you're not interested. Many men will simply never approach a girl who's out of their league unless she approaches them first. Maybe you give off an nonverbal vibe that you're not interested in men. Maybe you just spend too much time looking for men in places they feel it would be inappropriate to ask you out and should give more social settings a try. Maybe you just need to ask men out in the first place (it's the 21st century, women can ask too, now!)

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A male reader, Dirk Pitt United Kingdom +, writes (12 December 2010):

I'm (very nearly) single and have started clubbing with friends and relatives more now. I used to be a part time taxi driver. I may see a beautiful young girl in a club and wonder if I'm good enough for her, whether my opening line will fluff things up, etc. Yet that same girl getting in my cab will be easier to start a conversation with, 'Hi, where to? What's your evening been like?' etc, just general conversation, which seems to go well.

As a model and a nurse, you must be a very attractive and very caring person. I should imagine that both require a strength of character which may (stress MAY, I don't know you) come across as 'un-approachable'.

As someone suggested, dressing down a bit might help. Also the google flirting thing may be good. Brief eye contact and a smile could mean 'Sorry, not interested', too long and it could be read 'Don't even go there, buddy'. Every situation seems to have it's rules, and tension that go along with them, making them easier or difficult to deal with. Just try and go with the flow, and maybe don't be too anxious about meeting someone - it may just happen.

This probably hasn't been a great help, but good luck anyway.

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A male reader, rivi United States +, writes (12 December 2010):

Sounds like maybe now you've got into some kind of bind whereby you give off anxiety / needy vibes which could be off - putting ; or ditto if you are as good looking as you say maybe men are assuming they'll just be rejected so they don't try.

I would suggest internet dating / pickups and/or maybe if you have a best girlfriend she could set up a 4-some evening out (or maybe lunch and a movie to start ? ) with the both of you girls and two nice guys ?

My point is it might do you good to get over the sex barrier if you're still a virgin and then you would be more relaxed around males in general terms.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010):

check out body language and try to look for positive posture. Also just generally good posture will make you look more confident. Good luck xxx

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A male reader, Tootired United Kingdom +, writes (12 December 2010):

It's a tricky one, sometimes if a woman is very good looking men can find it harder to approach them because they might feel out of their league and could get rejected. Hence why guys tend to be with or go for easier targets. But don't feel bad about it, as long as you keep doing what you're doing then a guy will come your way. It's better to wait for the right guy than make rash decisions and regret them later. Stay confident and maybe buy a guy a drink who you might fancy or like ???

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A female reader, Jessypj United Kingdom +, writes (12 December 2010):

Some guys are scared to approach really attractive women cos they're afraid she's way out of their league. Go up to a guy you like and start talking, make some jokes etc so then he knows it's alright to talk to you. Walk tall and be confident because that speaks wonders about your personality. Good luck! X

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010):

It might be your body language. We read it all the time. Maybe you are coming across as shy, unsure ect. You said you hate it that you dont get hit on. You might display tension while out and 'waiting' to be hit on. Learn to relax and google the best ways to flirt. That might help. Also dress down a little. If you are looking stunning it might actually be putting guys off incase you knock them back when they approach you. If you are out for a casual drink ect, wear a fun t shirt wih an amusing slogan nothing(man bashing) though. Thats always an ice breaker!

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A male reader, Tizzie0612 United States +, writes (12 December 2010):

Tizzie0612 agony auntwell for one if i knew you or seen you around i would definetly approach you, but during this day and age both male and female are afraid to approach each other due to doubts and fears.i use to be afraid to approach any girl for the fact i didnt know what to say or how to start conversation.Also another thing that creats fear is the fear of rejection itself. Even though they gave me a smile or a look it just made me more nervous.Instead try approaching them that they their confidence will increase a little knowing that you have interest in them.After all, someones gotta make the first move.

i know i would :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010):

If you're affraid of looking too young you could try and get a new hair style or wear more mature make up?

You sound very naturaly beautiful though. Guy's could be intimidated by that. You should try meeting guys in social settings and approaching them first.

If you want to be more approachable maybe your posture is too intense? Try to look more relaxed and easy going. Don't be overly friendly in an unsettling way but try to seem "chill".

I'm 5'2 and 119. I'm quite curvy and hit on by guys all the time. It's not that great. If you're a little flat up top a push up bra could also make you look older. Figure flattering clothing and a more mature style could also help.

I'm just throwing ideas out there. I'm sorry if I'm off base on a couple but these are just some ideas to toss around. Just remember you're your own person and not to let a man define you. You're great the way you are and I don't think you should have to change.

Good luck, I hope I helped :)

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A female reader, agonykaren123 United Kingdom +, writes (12 December 2010):

agonykaren123 agony aunthi there, i dont have much advice to give on this one but in this day and age why not try you making the first move, start talking to a guy/girl you like see where it takes you, it might be a case that you find some men/women to be shy and affraid of you kncocking them back as the media have kinda gave models there on stereo-type, not sure if this will help but i hope so. good luck xx

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