A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I do not get pleasure from sex. I have been in 3 different relationships with three different guys but each time I felt nothing during sex. Could there be something wrong with me? Its really upsetting and frustrating when you are with someone you care about and then just feel nothing. And then they can tell also and the relationship just doesn't last. This is very frustrating to me. Has anyone else had this problem and if so what did you do to help? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): This is normal, so I don't think you need a doctor. Just have him perform oral sex on you until you feel very aroused. Men like performing oral on women so he will have no problem with that!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): First of all, don't panic. Studies suggest that the majority of women (50-60% is a figure I have heard quoted) aren't able to achieve orgasm through penetrative sex alone, but require clitoral stimulation to climax. Women also tend to take longer, on average, to become aroused and achieve orgasm than men. Add into that the fact that, if you're becoming tense because you feel under pressure, pleasure and orgasm will be even more difficult to achieve, and you have a recipe for frustration!
I know it's much easier said than done, but try to relax and experiment a little. It sounds as though you (and your boyfriend) need to learn what makes you feel really good - don't be afraid to try out new things together. Sit your boyfriend down and explain that you find this very difficult, but you want to overcome the problem by trying new things until you find what works for you. Trust me, if you say you want more sex and wilder sex, he is likely to be delighted about it! I know it can be hard to approach these subjects, but it really is much better to be open and trusting together and communicate what you're feeling than to be embarrassed and closed.
If the problem persists and you still feel nothing even once you've tried everything, you might also want to speak to a doctor, just to check that there is nothing physically wrong (or even to get counselling - sometimes that can help if the block is psychological). However, I would try some new techniques, positions and toys first.
You might find this page helpful: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/i_cant_orgasm_from_intercourse_and_its_ruining_my_relationship
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (21 July 2010):
Well i think you care about them mentally but not phyiscally! but when you really love someome believe me there is a big phyiscal attraction that you can't denigh.your not inlove? Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): Go to the doctors!!!!!! This isn't normal!!!
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