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I need to talk to my b/f about trust since I caught him texting. How do I start the convo?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 April 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 8 April 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Around 5-6 months ago I found that my boyfriend of almost two years had been messaging other girls. Some messages were friendly however others weren't, I confronted him about it and he didn't give me a straight answer at first until I kept asking and asking and demanding answers. He told me everything and said he didn't want to break up. I didn't either but I knew that if I just carried on as if nothing had happened he would continue as if nothing had happened and assume life would be great again. I said I don't want to break up because I love him and I don't want drunk and desperate girls thinking they can have my boyfriend! He told me he would prove I could trust him again although we both know it's difficult to gain back once it's been broken!!

The reason I am writing this is because I want help on how to bring the situation back up. I want to know whether we're both thinking the same things, whether he thinks everything is back to normal now and that I trust him or not. I just don't know how to bring the topic up as we haven't spoke about it since it happened.

Thanks for reading and I would really appreciate your help and advice!

View related questions: drunk, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2015):

Not even two years in?

This should be the honeymoon phase of your relationship.

You are wasting your time with him. He cannot be trusted. The longer you stay, the more your lack of trust in him will destroy not only your own self esteem but it will destroy your relationship.

Please don't waste any more time.

You are worth more.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (8 April 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony aunt When I want to know how my relationship is doing I ask my husband "how are WE?" which is very different from "how are you?"

you could start with "how are we?" and when he says "I'm fine" or "we're fine" you could say 'well I am not quite fine and I need to talk to you about what happened back in ......"

Truthfully however, this is not about what he thinks or feels.

IF he thinks you trust him and you don't what does that say?

or if you do trust him, and he thinks you don't what changes?

what will HOW HE FEELS change?

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A female reader, WhenCowsAttack United States +, writes (8 April 2015):

What is the content of the messages? I can't answer without more info.

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