A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have not been happy in my long term relationship for a while. He is the father to my youngest child. I am very independent with my own properties and I have quite a glamorous job with an airline.He does not take me any where, never met his family. Have never really felt like I was in a relationship. I made the decision to stop being sexual with him about 7 months ago. We have not officially said that we are ending the relationship but I want him to reflect on what has not been making me happy and I have told him numerous times and in writing. There has been no change.When i noticed that I developed a big crush on an ex boss I realised that there was something wrong.This man has my door keys for emergencies (We do not live together). Recently while I was out, he let him self in and took my lawn mower without permission. I was furious as he never does anything for me around the house. I texted and e-mailed him. I got my older son to speak to him and they rowed. I tried calling demanding that he returned it. No response. I ended up reporting it to the police and the following day it was returned.I am worried what effect this is going to have on my relationship with his child. I feel this was the icing I needed and made the water clearer for me. He clearly is just stringing me along trying to get what he can out of me. He barely maintains his child - pays for his lunch.If you have any words of advice please forward them. I need to stop wasting time. I am in a job surrounded by gorgorous men. Thanks for your time.
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (19 May 2012):
 It beggars belief that you have a child with him and yet, have never been introduced to him family!!!
I don't blame you for feeling so used and abused by him and the time has come to end your association with him and stop him walking in and out of your life and taking what he wants.
We all wonder how these people can have the nerve to behave so badly, we put trust in them and they do the most unspeakable things.
The courts will sort out child maintenance and access, but I agree with the previous aunt...what good is a father who shows such little respect for his child and makes no effort.
You are self sufficient, you have a good job and your own roof, you do not need anyone to support you finacially and can make a good life for you and your kids.
If you do date again (and I hope you do) make a concious effort to keep men out of your home and away from your children until you are absolutely sure 100% that they are genuine, honest and true.
We all crave love and affection, but so many people rush headlong into bad relationships and cling on for dear life, just so they won't be single or lonely...there are much worse things than being on your own, believe me!!
I wish you lots of luck and hope your indecisiveness turns into positive action so you can cut the cord, get this loser of a man out of your life and move on to happier times ahead.
xxx
A
male
reader, Kyle007  +, writes (18 May 2012):
Get legal help to see if you can get full custody of the child. Sounds like the guy is criminal. You probably just don't want the father around at all. As far as how it affects the relationship with the child, no helping it at this point. Time to fight.
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