A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:I'm not nearly as sexually experienced as I would like to be. When I think about any of my high school experiences with girls it's mostly all either bad or non-existent. Since high school I've had some minor success with women.I'm currently in a relationship but I am considering getting asking for a break over the summer b/c we won't get to see each other and she previously offered one if I wanted one.That's a whole other issue to deal with. But assuming I do that I was wondering what the opinion was on casual sex. Is it possible to have sex with someone once or twice and just be friends with them? I personally think it might be helpful for me to have some casual sex b/c one of the things that always gets to me is that I almost always have a less experienced past than the girl I'm with and it always bothers me. I feel like learning to place a bit more of a divide between sex and the emotions behind it would help me to be able to look at things differently. It might allow me to not get upset when a girl tells me about some jerk who treated them like crap but they had lots of sex with anyway and she says that it was "just sex." As of right now I can't really look at things as "just sex." It bothers me and even though I know it shouldn't I can't seem to handle that kind of thing. I suspect that part of the issues I'm facing come from the fact that I believe them when they say it was in the past and didn't mean anything, but I've never experienced that so I feel slighted that she gets the experience (whether it's positive or negative) and then has the ability to say that it's no big deal. I on the other hand realize logically that it isn't a big deal but I am still profoundly disturbed by it.What do you guys think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2009): I'd like to say RJ doesn't have to overtake your life.Remember, her experiences has made her into the woman you fell in love with. Many girls would like to erase some of their past if they could, because the memories haunt us too.And like bobbles said, she didn't Like what she did. So many variables come into play when a girl has slept with men. Anything from 'not knowing any better'-to what I call, The Great Deception, society saying sleeping around won't do any harm. Well, it does, but sometimes we learn too late.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2009): The term is "retroactive jealousy." Some people get RJ and some people don't.
It's impossible to get decent advice from someone who doesn't get RJ. They can try to help, but they don't even have a clue and they never will. They tend to belittle these powerful emotions you struggle with by telling you that you have an ego or insecurity problem. (If only it was that simple & easy!)
If you feel RJ about her now, then you'll still feel it in 30 years from now. The stories of other people dealing with RJ bear this out over and over again.
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A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (30 March 2009):
 It's hard for (most) girls to have casual sex for a partner and not feel either a)feelings for the other or b) used. Either is never good if you're looking for some innocent sex with someone you don't really care about. By reading your question I kind of get the feeling that it would be hard for you to have sex with someone you didn't care about. It doesn't matter if she is more experienced than you.. as long as you're both happy with your sex life. Stop focussing on her past, because it's not her future for a reason; She didn't like it.
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