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I need sex, what do I do

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 October 2007) 23 Answers - (Newest, 5 September 2008)
A male United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

i feel like i am going to die without sex what should i do i am 12

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A female reader, xxbaybeegal United Kingdom +, writes (5 September 2008):

xxbaybeegal agony auntHey Im 13

And My advice is to wait

don't go having sex just because you need it

yeah everyone feels the need to have sex but were all still young

wait for the right time when its LEGAL and you've met the right girl.

you dont have to listen to me but im telling you if you went and had sex and the contraceptive wasnt the condom ripped would you wanna end up being a father at 12! wow...that would be bad..and im sure you parents wouldn't wanna know that you got a girl pregnant at YOUR AGE!

just think about it

your choice

its a free world right

do what you want

xxbaybeegal x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008):

Masturbate, don't have sex, wait until marriage. I think you should try masturbating, or do physical excersice like someone else said.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008):

Go for it, if you can. I am 22 and I've never had sex yet. If only I would have understood the importance of early encounters. The experience you get will possibly help you get laid later in life. The earlier you start, the better you will become. It's like any other hobby. And starting it late is a pain.. I can't even approach women.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008):

Although sex seems like somethings you need to do now, you really don't. You have the rest of your life to have the most amazing sex, so why concern yourself now. Wait till you find someone you feel safe and secure with and i promise you wont regret waiting.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (4 May 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntHi Katie,

Your post may not be appropriate on this site but I am glad

that you felt better after getting off your chest.

You are never alone ,Jesus is always beside you .

There is not much I can say or do but all I can say is that

,you have withered all those storms in your life and this

will make you a better and stronger person.

All I can do and help is to pray to God to take away your

hurts and pain and heal them whole and fill your hearts with love again.

Here is a very beautiful and touching site to experience God's love.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008):

trust me m8 its not worth the bother at 12 lol im 20 n i had my first sex session wen i was 19.... n trusty me i regret it it was with sum 1 i ddnt relly lyk lol wait for the gurl my man

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008):

I am felmale and 39 this year. I have been the main wage earner in my household for nearly 6 years and only because I had a student bursery to cover me and this worked out about £575.00 per calender month!

Due to pressure from my husband and my teenagers from a previous relationship then I had to sadly suspend my career as I could not study!

We as a family have also had to endure the death of my mother in law some 2 years ago and my husband has still not come out of his depression!

I have carried my husband for a long time before, during and after his mothers death and yet I still feel I need to replace his mum and a) I don't want to and b) she was a proffessional and I can't match up to her!

I have other issues going on with my children and their stepfather who incidently had been 'longer with them than their own father' yet they won't listen to him or me when trying to discipline them! I mean discipline in the form or taking away something they like and love!

I really want to give them a taste of what I had when I was a child, but I have tried to make myself better than what I had as a child and that was a good hiding and fast leather buckle belt!

I don't know anymore as when I tried to restrain my middle child who was 13 at the time from going out into the depths of the night I left bruises on her upper arms and so it was reported and so I was under investigation for child abuse and further more I did comply with the social services and completed a parenting course and then a course with the CAST team (a local social services team to help with such problems)!

I will never in my life again report that I need help and as soon as social services is mentioned then I would rather give my kids up to them than go through the humiliation of being accused all over again!

I am fearful of the social services and because I have done my vey best as a mother to make sure my children never had to witness what I did at their age!

I went to toddler groups, I walked a lot with them and socialised with a good number of parents, my home was clinically clean, but more importantly although I had a partner I was actually a single parent as my partner worked long hours, these long hours were optional!

My partner chose to work the extra hours to make money for us as a family.............but I never saw the benefits of this and further more I know now he did not want to come home to a crying me because our first daughter slept only 4 hours in 24 hours and broken hours at that!

My first child was admitted to a hospital ward because I said I was going to throw her off the bridge at Eton if they did not take me seriously and then take my own life!

They were right in the fact that I was suffering post natal depression, but give me a break here.......only under such duress and lack of sleep that I could not eat or think straight and my weight plumetted to 6 and a half stone from being a healthy 9 and a half before pregnancy and 9 stone after the birth of my daughter and all in 3 months!

Anyway they monitored my daughter and said she did sleep! She slept for 4 hours in every 24 hours and then not all in a 4 hour row!

Thank god I had proof and did not seem mental to my doctor and more importantly to my friends who told me it was hard being a new mother and new borns don't sleep that well! haha if only they were me I used to think!

Anyway after a weeks stay for my child in hospital was indeed the first steps for me to get some much needed sleep! and I felt ready to have her back but hopefully with some kind of diagnosis, medication or afterhelp!

Notthing at all! she was given back to me and I did the best I could with all their information!

Within a week I was rushed to hospital with a high fever and terrible pain in my ear and with my child in tow as my partner was at work and could not possibly miss a days work as we needed the money, I begged him and told him I felt like I was dying!, I had a fever of 40.01 degrees I know now this is where cells in the body start to denature (cook themselves)!!!!

They immediately packed my ear with parrafin and antibiotic swabs, hooked me up to a saline drip and took my daughter off to somewhere? at this point in time I could not even think about her as I thought I was dying and was suffering with hallucinations and was not of sound mind!

Actually they phoned my partner and he came to the hospital to take our daughter home, I don't remember much about this to be honest, but next day at visiting hours my partner came back to see me? No he came back to dump our daughter on my bed in an infectious ward to say she kept him up all night and he had to go to work and that he could not do it another night!!!!!

He left and the sister on the ward called social services and they came in about 30 minutes to say that my daughter would be temporarily taken into care as I was so ill and it was just whilst I was recovering!

I don't think so, I pulled out my drip and discharged myself with my antibiotics and told them I was leaving and with my daughter! I phoned my foster mum in Germany and she flew over the next day to help me for a week!

Back then I had someone to help me, but sadly and for reasons I don't know we don't speak anymore!

My first born is now 17 years old and could sleep for the living dead lol!

The diagnosis for my ear trouble was mastoiditis and that is an acute infection of the honeycomb like bone structure behind the ear and is potentially fatal if not caught in time!

Anyway thankyou to all that have read my post, its a bit long for a first post and so I apologise, but had to get that off my chest and now I feel much better!

Regards Katie!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008):

a)it's illegal

b)sayin u NEED it is immature so ur obviously not ready for it

c)i dont think u have though of risks such as pregnancy or disease,no contraception is 100% effective

d)at age 12 you probably think u kno all about it which is most likely NOT the case

e)if u do it now and get it wrong it will ruin ur social life and sex life FOREVER! Girls talk about their experiences. Word spreads like wild fire!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2008):

Hi dude,

I can still remember what it's like to be a 12 year old boy...both amazing and also a burden. Regarding sex at your age - just try not to. For your own sake. Believe me, I had sexual relationships when I was 12. I was at an all boys boarding school, and lots of guys practised mutual masturbation. To be honest, I sincerely wish that I had never ever done that. At your age, you can do stuff with other people that you remember for the rest of your life, and you must try to make sure it's positive, healthy stuff you do. Regret lasts for years, and the enjoyment for a few minutes!

Masturbation is a brilliant way to relieve some of the urges and strains. I am 50 now, and have been a happy masturbator since I was 11. As a male, your hormones are programmed to make you want to reproduce. But saving it for the one you love is the very, very best way. Sex with someone you will stay with for life is soooo much better than anything else. So please try and be patient. And the next time you get the urge, find somewhere quiet to pleasure yourself and afterwards do some physical exercise.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008):

think about what you are doing.

U r young u dont want to be a father at ur age coz no matter what u do there is the risk of getting the girl pregnant.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008):

Take it easy, heck you got your whole life for that. Enjoy being a kid while you can.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007):

well im 13 in aprill and ive masterbated since 1 was 7 and i still have really really bad urges to have it but im really nervuos but im sure i want to do it, and i no all the types of stuff ya can get off sex but im so .... i duno just want to have sex there a couple of a lasses a could have sex with but should ????

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2007):

hey.. well first off im 13 and i totaly know what your talking about. i get the same urges as well. other teens our age do all the time. well recently i have been having the urges very frequently. i as well dont know how to handle it. but i know i sure as hell dont wanna have a baby or risk the infection of hiv aids or std's even herpes so i think its best to wait. it may seem like your going to die at times but trust me sweeheart youll live. other activities such as masterbating or even sexual activities with a gf or some girl you have talked about things with and you feeel that you like her and she likes you. it will help.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2007):

Hi im a girl im 12 aswell 13 this december.I have always had the urge to have sex but im so aware of all the dangers. Luckly i have a older friend who told me stuff about it. So instead of haveing sex i mastubated it's easy and doesnt cause no harm you should try it

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007):

Im 13, a year older than you. im telling you, SURVIVE! I felt exactly the same way and 13 is the worst. from then on, its gets easy. Life carries on and stress realy kicks in at your age. The hormones are killing you and you really need to cool down. I would suggest masturbating, no matter how bad some people make it seem. I did it once, and the sexual pressure just leaves you for a good couple of weeks.

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A male reader, youngandconfused Ireland +, writes (10 October 2007):

youngandconfused agony auntMasturbate. Particularly if it is you're first time, which judging from your sexual frustration and young age, it probably is, it will feel good.

There's nothing nasty about it and it'll help stress.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007):

Hi. I know how you feel sumtimes, sex can be something that u realli realli want to do. You jst hav to resist. Trust me, i was mates with a 12 year old boy. He was tellin me that he really badly needed sex, n asked if i wuld do it with him. i said no, n then he went out n did it with sumone else. A few months later I find out he is abut to be a father. Are you ready for that kind of responsibility? N i know wat yr thnking, youll use protection, but so did he, n it doesnt always wrk. Even the pill! He def is not ready to be a father, and unless u are, u cnt be ready for sex. Hope this helpsxxx

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A female reader, Fairy_Lu United Kingdom +, writes (10 October 2007):

Fairy_Lu agony auntYour 12 its illegal you hormones are just kicking in and its not possible to die without sex all though catching a disease transmitted through sex can kill, wait till your older there are other ways to relieve your sexual urges without anyone else.

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A female reader, Ileana United Kingdom +, writes (10 October 2007):

Ileana agony auntHey there,

You have gone 12 years without it why cant you wait a few more?




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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (10 October 2007):

DrPsych agony auntSo you need sex? Every 12 year old teenage male would tend to agree with you...sadly early sexual experiences are terribly disappointing. Aside from the legality and health issues, sex is just better inside a proper relationship as it means something then. One night stands are just meaningless. So wait until you are older when you have a girlfriend and know that the huge majority of boys of your age are virgins (despite what your friends may tell you!) and it should be that way!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007):

I am afraid I agree with all other Aunts here. You are far too young and at a time where your hormones are kicking in, this is probably why you feel this way.

You wont die without sex - none of us would, statements like that just show that you are far too immature to be involved in sexual acts.

Try masterbating. I would say 99% of men do it and those that say they dont lie.

Don't forget - SEX is ILLEGAL until you are 16 and even once you areb 16 you dont HAVE to do it because its legal.

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A female reader, XxAngelDust89xX United States +, writes (10 October 2007):

XxAngelDust89xX agony auntUh, Sorry if this is rude but the only way a twelve year old should be havin sex is with his hand.

You don't NEED sex, you just want it,

"Be careful what you wish for, cuz you just might get it all, and then some you dont want." Chris Daughtry "Home"


sores or blisters

swelling, pain or itchiness

pain or burning on urination

discharge that smells bad

A pregnant girl


Genital Warts





Pubic Lice or Crabs



Sounds wonderful doesnt it ?

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A female reader, drastic knowledge United States +, writes (10 October 2007):

drastic knowledge agony auntkeep it in your pants you are 12 years old you are 2 young for such a thing

are you ready to be a daddy if she gets pregnant ?

your not ready for sex and you wont die if you dont get it

but i think you need to wait a few years till you are ready and with a girl for more than flesh

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