A
female
age
30-35,
*uonly
writes:hello everyone, I ask you to help me please because this problem is making me very miserable...I've been with this guy for nearly 4 months now but he was my ex from a long and troubled relationship, he keeps coming back to me, and this last time he said that I am the love of his life and I will always be a part of his life... but, I don't feel good ... I love him, I couldn't forget him, from the first time I saw him 4 years ago but he can be so cold sometimes, he doesn't express his feelings, doesn't talk much and we end up having sex every time we saw eachother, sex has become the only way that can connect us and I feel so bad when I need him to call or ask but he gets so busy and when he calls I feel like it's a"too little too late", I don't know what to do, I need him but he doesn't give me what I want, I need him to be around and I really don't know how to tell him all this...can someone help me? I really want this relationship to work..
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (26 July 2010):
 Well, to begin with, you DON'T "need" him. You may WANT him, but that's very different from needing him.
Second, this is a losing proposition. The two of you were together a long time four years ago, and it just didn't work out. Look at what you wrote: "a long and troubled relationship." You say he's cold, distant and the only connection you really have is sex. What on earth makes you think things might be better this time around? Obviously they are not better; in fact it's making you miserable. He apparently has not changed his ways toward you in the time since you broke up.
It's time - and long past time - to give it up. Just because you love someone it doesn't necessarily mean they are the right person or good for you.
Just bid him farewell. It's not going to work, no matter how much you want it to.
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