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I need him back! It's platonic love...

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Friends, Gay relationships, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 November 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 2 December 2008)
A male Philippines age 30-35, anonymous writes:

i'm 15yrs old totaly straight

but i've fallen for my bestfriends lil bro(llyrs old)

i know he loves me too and

right now is just afraid because

what we are doing should not be shown in public

and has been forbidden by his parents

we used to be so close but now he seems so

far away. . .

i know he still loves me to cause i

can still feel it when

we meet secretly

what could i do to bring him back with

his bro being ok with it?

i swear that this love is only platonic.

pls help

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A female reader, Blue_Angel0316 United States +, writes (2 December 2008):

Blue_Angel0316 agony auntAll is good then. 8-) You however did say that you had *fallen and yet you considered it Platonic. Your post probably caused others to be a bit confused about what terms you used and the real need for secrecy. I am glad that you are into girls! Whew!

My other advice still stands.....Friends with parents knowledge and permission....after all what can his bother tell then?

My best to you and your friend.

God bless,

Blue_Angel

^(**)^

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

yeah thx for help

but im not gay at all. . .

totaly into girls

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A female reader, Blue_Angel0316 United States +, writes (30 November 2008):

Blue_Angel0316 agony auntFor your sake and his I urge you to let go of the notion. If his brother lets's it out you are going to be in a big mess. The younger boy isn't capable of understanding all that you do about your choices (needs) The friendship you have with him cannot lead to more than trouble for you both. My first post suggested that you just remain a friend and with his parents supervision so that it keeps thinks Platonic. When you are both older he will be old enough to make a better decision about something that will change his life forever.

I know of someone personally who was gay(bi) for a short period of time. Although they were much older and had stronger relationships she really wishes she'd left the situation alone. It changed her life and caused alot of hardships. I know of several actually and sometimes they have been in serious trouble or danger because of their choice. They have been attacked by memebers of the opposite sex and beaten not by one but many at the same time. They have lost friends, family and sometimes their belongings. Thank God I have never had to experience one that has lost their life because of the choice but it does happen. These people are friends of mine and yet I am STRAIGHT. I can't say that I approve of their choices but I do believe they must make their choices as they see fit in their own lives. I try my best not to judge but so many people will and it can really cause damage of all sorts to their lives. To live a Gay lifestyle takes not only Comming out of the Closet, but it takes rearranging alot of your life to accommodate your Alternative Lifestyle. You really must have the maturity both age wise and emotionally to be able to handle all that comes with this choice.

I am sure that others can give you more on this. I just wanted to let you know some of the things that I personally know about. You are making the choice as a young adult. The other young man is way too young to make this type of choice and I suggest that you reconsider any other involvement with him other than what I mentioned before. This was to be his friend, with his parents permission and with their presence. If you really care about your friend , you Will do what is best for him and in the long term is Probably BEST for you too.

God bless,

Blue_Angel

^(**)^

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

actually he doesn't know his parents suspect

anything. . . but his bro

just scares him he'd tell them .

thx tho :) . .. .

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A female reader, Blue_Angel0316 United States +, writes (28 November 2008):

Blue_Angel0316 agony auntYou know I failed to mention that his parents are probably mostly concerned because you are so much older and your level of maturity is much more than his most likely. I am sure that they want him to be a child a little while longer and not rush him into being an adult. Whilst you on the other hand are nearly grown and are more close to an adult. Your habits and such could be viewed as a concern.

I am assuming that either you are gay or have gay tendencies as to the manner in which you say that you have fallen and that he loves you too. Someone of his age isn't usually capable of knowing what a real love of that nauture is. Perhaps his parents recognise this about you and it might be what concerns them most of all.

Then you state that it's only Platonic. Platonic Love is the kind of love that attaches more importance to the spirtual than sensual. It is passionate but chaste Love. In daily life platonic love is almost always unattainable love, a subject of love in circumstances that cannot be realized. Yet belief is that for some, Platonic Love is at first love that thru series of favorable circumstances can be made a reality. In your case it should be the LOVE of a Friend. You really Shouldn't carry it any further than that. What he brother thinks doesn't really matter, his parents are against it!,

You surely aren't making things better for yourself meeting him in secret. He is way under age and although you are too if you get caught you could wind up in a Juvenile Facility somewhere or prision if for some reason the courts seek punishment against you as an ADULT. Think about it. Be his friend, only spend time around him in his parents clear view. Don't push the issue, and most of all find others things to occupy your time. Be safe, not sorry for you could wind up ruining his life by your actions along with your own.

God bless,

Blue_Angel

^(**)^

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A female reader, Blue_Angel0316 United States +, writes (28 November 2008):

Blue_Angel0316 agony auntThe best thing is to show his parents that it is really PLATONIC. Always be chaperoned when you are around him. It's the BEST and Pretty Much ONLY thing you can do. Perhaps when he is 15 things will change but even then you will still be 4 years older. They might think that is too much still and that's ok cause you might have a b/f by then and you worry about it so much.

Find friends your age to hang out with. Try to keep busy and still say hi when you see him but let it be. When he is 18 and you still have this strong feeling..............He will be an adult and you can say that you've kept a Good Friend........and the story goes on.

God bless,

Blue_Angel,

^(**)^

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