A
female
age
36-40,
*weetNectar
writes:Things haven't been good for me for years. 8 years ago my mother lost her still born baby and the chemical imbalance made it so that no matter what I do I can never do anything right. Before all that happened her and I were really close, now I can't ever let her in. that was just the start of everything. 5 years ago I met this guy that I thought was the world. Things were so good and moved quickly; slowly he started manipulating and destroying every part of me. I lost all my friends and I lost my family even more then I already had and I lost all selfesteem. At first it was verbal abuse near the end of the three year relationship it turned into physical abuse. I was finally able to leave him and was aloud to come back home. I have never been able to forgive myself for dating him and forgive myself for what I did to the friends that still will no longer talk to me or my family. Its been two years since things ended with him and still it seems like everything in my life is horrible. My mother hates me more then she did. I talked to my dad a couple of weeks ago and he said that she will never forgive me for what I did. On top of all of that, my best friend that i've had through all this crap are losing our friendship. Hes the one person that I trust more than anything in my life and for the first time I feel so alone. I can't talk to him anymore. Him and I took our friendship a bit further and it was a huge mistake. I fell in love with him a feeling I didn't think I could ever feel for anyone. He told me he loved me too but that he doesn't want to be with me. he said he just wants to be friends like we use to be but I have to many feelings for him that I just can't get over. I have a hard time talking to people and I know things are getting worse for me. I haven't even turned my cell phone on in over a week and normally you never see me without it. I've just been hiding in my room wondering if theres any point. I lost everything in my life, my family, my friends, my mother hates me and now I lost the only person that mean't something to me. I guess the questions I need to know is how to forgive myself for what has happened; how to move on...or just how to be happy once again. I need to know if theres any point to life if you see nothing left for the future.
View related questions:
best friend, fell in love, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (13 June 2008):
 I'm so sorry to hear about your predicament. This is truly a tough time for you and you do sound quite alone.
I think you need to seek counseling, as I don't think a few words typed here from us will get your life set back on track. That is a tough thing to do, I know, to ask for help, but I think that is the best thing for you.
Also, it might not be a bad idea to help those people out there are also in need. Contact your local volunteer center, and find an organization that needs help. Getting yourself out of the house and into a new environment might give you some purpose to your life now. There are so many worthy charities out there, you need to find the one that speaks to your heart and sign up to help them. Lots of people can give money, fewer are able to give time and effort.
Start a journal and keep a record of your feelings. Also write down a list of dreams, what you'd like to see happen with your future and what lovely new things you can experience in life.
But be sure to ask for counseling. I think that is key to your mental health and recovery.
Take care.
A
female
reader, Madam Taylor  +, writes (13 June 2008):
We go through life putting ourselves through hell trying to please our lovers friends and family, especially family but sometimes we have to accept that they can't move on. Stop worrying about what has been, look forward. The most important thing in life is to take care of yourself physically and emotionaly, concentrate only on making your life better and everyone will see the change in you and it is amazing how they start to approach you very differantly cause now they see a strong individual who has it together no matter what has happened befor and they will start to respect you for the mature person you have become. With an attitude like this you can have any man or anything in life that you want. Wouldn't it be nice if you could be picky for a change.
...............................
|
