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I need advice about my married lover and his intentions

Tagged as: Big Questions, Cheating, Forbidden love, Three is a crowd, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 February 2015) 5 Answers - (Newest, 24 February 2015)
A female United States age 41-50, *exyC writes:

hello my name is sweet c and i have a problem that i need help with.

ok i met this guy and we hit it off the first night and we ended up sleeping together the first night. but the sex was different because he was having a hard time getting up. so we did other things.

so the next day when he left i found out that he was married. that really dint bother me to much. but we have been kicking for the last five months and i've met some of his family and kids. but mostly all we do is talk and drink together and some times we may have oral sex because he cant get hard.

i buy him things and take care of him because his wife is really worthless and could careless about him. i here this from everyone that i have met so i know that no one is sitting around making this up.

we have not been together sexual since the week before xmas and he has not tried. well he went to jail for a month and during that hold time i was there for him. he came home on valentines and we kicked it but we still havnt slept together. and all this week he has barley called and i have not seen him.

what should i do? i am so confused i really like him but i know his wife treats him like a child and does nothing for him. every time i ask him where do we stand he says he wants me in his life and keeps asking me to be patient but i truly dont kow how much more i can take.

please help me and give advice on what i should do.

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A female reader, SexyC United States +, writes (24 February 2015):

SexyC is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you all for the advice

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (23 February 2015):

CindyCares agony aunt Find someone else. Possibly single, possibly without a prison record, and, if he has to cost you money !, definitely sexually functioning :

Come on, call it " buying him things and taking care of him " , call it " helping him out "... in practice you are paying for sexual favours ... which you do not even receive ! ( If you were satisfied with the - little- non penetrative sex you get, ypu would not even be posting to begin with ).Oh wait- we can't even say that he is not good sexually, yet he is such a lovely attentive friend and companion that it's worth your patience.... in fact he can go quite a while without even calling you.

Osn't that intuitive at this point what you are supposed to do ?! What COULD you do- other than realizing you are clinging to a loser, and that nearly anybody else would give you a better bargain ?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2015):

His wife is worthless yet it is him who goes to jail? Speak of a worthless scum, married at that, who can't get hard and you falling for that. Can you at least try to do better?

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A female reader, Midnight Shadow United Kingdom +, writes (22 February 2015):

Midnight Shadow agony aunt"i found out that he was married. that really dint bother me to much. but we have been kicking for the last five months and i've met some of his family and kids" - why doesn't it bother you and who are you being introduced to the family and children as?!

"i buy him things and take care of him because his wife is really worthless and could careless about him" - you're calling her worthless, but he's a cheater and you're helping him cheat. If he was really unhappy with her, he could get divorced, but he doesn't need to because you're sticking around and buying him things, without any monogamous commitment.

Why did he go to jail?

I know it sounds harsh, but you need to re-align your moral compass and what you think you deserve. You need to stop trying to steal someone's husband and get your own single man who wants *you* not another woman, or you buying him things.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (22 February 2015):

Honeypie agony auntYou say the wife is really worthless.. Wow, but who wen to jail? He did... didn't he?

I think you are (like 90% of women who mess around with a married man) WASTING your time and your life on a guy who CAN't GIVE you any kind of real commitment - this dude can't even have sex with you.

His wife treats him like a kid, guess what? HE ACTS like a kid.

I just don't get it, the man isn't exactly a prize yet you cling on to the "hope" that he can be yours?

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