A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My ex bf was controlling and sexually abusive to me. Then one day he dumped me out of the blue and moved on so quickly, like as if I never meant anything to him. I never got to tell him what I thought of him, I never got to actually stand up for myself and not be manipulated into backing down. I have so much to say! I want to tell him that I deserved better then him. So my question is, how can I do that? Should I contact him and tell him how I feel? I want to, but at the same time I dont because I dont want him to think that Im still thinking about him when hes clearly moved on!!!Help, I need closure. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (23 June 2008):
Do you honestly think he'll care how you feel? He never cared about you or your feelings or he wouldn't have treated you so badly... it'll just be like a double glazing sales call to him, annoying and soon forgotten.
As I said, put it all in a letter if you must but you'll never get any reaction or response because he doesn't give a crap.
The best way you can show him how you feel is to go out and move on and show him he means nothing to you any more.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI never wanted to be abusive at him. I wanted to tell him how I feel...and that can be done in a non abusive manner.
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (23 June 2008):
I agree with Susan 100%. It won't be like in the films where he realises what an idiot he is and is mortified by your witty put downs. He'll just shout over you and end up making everything your fault again.
If you really need to be abusive at him then send him a letter. But it won't make you feel any better.
Learn not to stay with men like that long enough for the to dump you, and move on.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (23 June 2008):
 Move on.
You don't want "closure". You're just calling it that. It's already closed, and what you want is to vent your anger at him. What's the point? It won't achieve anything. It won't even make you feel better, because when you do it he'll probably have an answer and a put-down for everything you say - that's what abusive and controlling men do. They're experts at it. You'll feel worse than you do now.
Forget it. Forget him. Find one of those millions of men out there who is going to love you properly.
...............................
|
