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I miss my teacher so much!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 May 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 9 May 2017)
A female age 18-21, anonymous writes:

I am really confused about my feelings for my former teacher. It's been just a few days less than six months since I last saw her,and I still miss her terribly.

I was shocked when a sub told our grade that our teacher "won't be back this semester" over a month after she left. The school has told us multiple different reasons, one of them being that she is expecting a a baby, so I'm not completely sure what is happening. However, I do know that the school would have told us if she weren't OK and that she won't be back for another one and a half years, if she comes back.

I sent her an email, to which she didn't reply. I won't send another one, since I think that if she wouldn't have minded me bothering her, she would have replied.

I miss her terribly! For the first two weeks I missed her so much it physically hurt, as if my insides were falling apart, although I hope I imagined that feeling. I also got frustrated, because I couldn't control my emotions and broke into tears in front of my whole grade because I believed I was never going to see her again. I'd switch between being sad whenever I thought of her, which is much more often than I thought it would be, and being angry at her for suddenly disappearing and at the school for not telling us. At myself, too, because I never realized she was the first person I'd look for when I entered a room and for being stupid enough to get attached to a teacher.

I'm not angry anymore, and I don't become sad when I see the subs or do simple actions such as eating (because her care for the environment influenced me to become a vegetarian) or going home from school (because she showed me the shortcut to the train station) that remind me of her. However, I am still really at some randomly-seeming times, as if a wave of sadness hits me, and then it hurts as much as it.

I am so confused. Why do I even miss her so much? How can I get over this, quickly? I feel like missing her is getting in the way of me being there for my friends and is unfair to the teacher herself, since she probably just wants to lead her own life, and not have some girl she may have forgotten about by now missing her so much.

Counseling or speaking to family and friends unfortunately aren't options. When/ if she'll come back, I won't get attached to her again.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (9 May 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntAt the moment your hormones are probably all over the place that is why you are getting upset more easier than usual. She was a role model for you and you miss her. That is okay. But it is okay to let her go also and focus on the new teacher. It will get easier. It is part off life missing people.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (3 May 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntThis lady sounds very special and it is probably not surprising you are missing her so much. She has already had a big impact on your life and your view of the world, and that will ALWAYS be special.

It is good you are starting to feel a little less raw about her not being around. Hopefully that will keep improving.

As you don't know why she is absent from the school, it is probably best not to try to contact her again (which you have already been sensible enough to realize).

For one so young, you write very well about your feelings. You are obviously bright and the best tribute you can pay to your ex teacher is to do well at school and be happy in your life.

Take care of yourself.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2017):

It will pass just go hang out with your mates go be a child

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