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I miss my family and I don't know what to do. Can anyone help?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 January 2008) 16 Answers - (Newest, 27 August 2010)
A female United States age 26-29, *exiestgirlalive18 writes:

Well it all started two years ago and it still hurts. i need advice on how to get over it or cope with it. I moved away from my family over two years ago and I left everything and once in a while I just miss them so bad. I just dont know what to do. Now I am married and with two kids. Yes I love where I live and how my life is but all I see is my husband family and I just get so depressed sometimes because I dont have my family to confide in or to have them support me and I just dont know what to do. Its just that I miss them so much and I need some help. Did anyone else go through this and how did you feel. I just need some help.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2010):

I have never been away from my family. My parents pride themselves in the fact that no matter how hard situations got while I was growing up, they managed to keep a humble home with all of us healthy and together (I have 3 sisters). I never moved away for college and even after graduating and being gainfully employed, I stayed home helping my parents pay mortgage and help my sick dad. Now that the economy turned bad, my company moved out of state and I was asked to move. My dad's not working and mom's being laid off next month. I couldn't afford to not have a stable income. I moved from the west coast to the midwest and although everyone at work is nice and great... I spend my time alone, dinner alone, tv alone... I miss them SOOOO much. I almost wish I would have stayed and not caved into the fear of losing a job. Right now I'd rather be closer to my family. I almost feel selfish even since the decision was also based on my career advancing. :( When you find out what to do to mend an aching heart...let me know.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010):

life sucks sometimes, and its full of tough choices but sometimes you just got to let go and live in the present because if you dwell on one thing for too long you life will be an instant. Love your children and husband, life is full of different experiences and its better to experience the best moments of it. your family back home can still be visited and you can see them from time too time. Be there for YOUR children and love them and talk with your family because they are YOUR family.:) make the best of what you got because if you cant be with the one you love, love the one your with.

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A female reader, Shamama Afghanistan +, writes (18 August 2010):

Dear friend,

I am feeling right now same as your feelings. I also left my family just three days ago, but I want to leave university, my studies, and my career life and run away to toward my family. Because I love them and I want to be with them forever. I miss my mother and little sister alot. I dont know what should I do, and I am also asking like you from everyone that what should I do? I really miss my family. Therefore, I googled the question about missing family then I got your thought abouut it.

Love you dear family

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A female reader, fk United Kingdom +, writes (24 April 2010):

fk agony auntI know how you feel. For the first time in 12 years i got to see my family last year. I only spent 2 months with them and feel so detatched from them now that we've parted. I s'pose there's no real way to possibly feel better. I went into depression for a while and still feel sad looking back. I found it helped to find a hobby or a friend to do things with.

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A male reader, Me Too! United States +, writes (4 January 2010):

I know exactly how you feel. This fall I moved from the midwest to the west coast to go to school and I never anticipated how much I would miss my family. I recently visited home, but now I am back at school, I wish that I would have stayed there. Sometimes I even wish I would have never moved away in the first place. I find myself questioning what I am doing here everyday, I just miss them so much. At least you have your own small family, I just wander around by myself, and don't have anyone to talk to. I hope you feel better about being away from your family.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2009):

I am crying now after i read all the stories you've shared,well all i can say that it was so difficult to separate to your family especially when you think that your time with them was not enough..last year i got married and moved in another country that year also when my dad past away..i don't know if my decision was right to leave my family during grieving but i was thinking about their future also that if i come with my husband i can work and help them but the burden starts when I am separated with them..double the pain i felt the guilt and the depression..now everyday I am thinking if i made the right decision?is my decision makes me happy?is pictures of your family was enough?is chatting with them was enough also,if using phones,giving message was enough?all I do was praying talking to my father and asking if he can be in my dreams so at least i will hear again his voice and talk to him and tell what I want to tell..i miss my family especially my father='(

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2009):

im 18, obviously not married. i moved to england when i was 14. didnt know a word english. i experienced culture shock and loneliness. it took me a good two-year to adjust to life in london! im still not with my family. what i went throught the first two years, i will never be able to explain it in my whole life just like no one will never understand it. i hope all the kids around the world are together with their parents until 18, because having them with you while you grow up is amazing!

when you get up in the morning to go to school and your parents arent there, you come back from school in the evening and again they are not home. you go sleeping crying and you wake up in the morning and all you can look forward to is the evening so you can cry again and maybe feel better!

i miss my family! half of my heart is not with me!

yet im so thankful to go god for how my life is, i thank god everynight i go to bed because...

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A female reader, just in disbelief United States +, writes (10 December 2009):

My entire immediate family covered up the reason that I disappeared thirteen years ago.

I am a missing sister, daughter, aunt and neice, and no one missed me when I disappeared.

I want to meet my neices and nephews. I want answers. My story involves horrible abuses by one of my brothers, and I cannot carry that burden anymore. I left the State and ran away, and I have lived alone for all of these years, trying to live a normal life. How do you get over losing an entire family, yet they are not dead? I have four siblings and many neices and nephews, and one parent, and not one responds to me. I have called, written, and emailed. No one will respond to me { I have been ill and needed family } I am still in fear of the one abusive brother, and he knows that. It is a nightmare.

Be thankful if you have your own family.

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A female reader, pap United States +, writes (16 November 2009):

without family you have nothing!

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A female reader, done it United Kingdom +, writes (31 August 2009):

Get on the phone to them or write home, it isn't the same but it gives you some contact that is better than none?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2008):

I understand fully where you are coming from, I miss live with my child and wife and have 2 children back home, whom i miss very much. i miss my Parents 2 sisters and 1 brother, i don't enjoy it here, i have no other family and have thought about it a lot.

Her family is here, so in reality i should go back, that's my solution, no one understands if they are not in that situation. Your husband must support, comfort and protect you, otherwise go

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008):

A lot of people decide to break off all contact with their parental families. Most people feel sad about it because it would have been better to have a good relationship. But sometimes that is just not possible and the pain and damage caused by constantly trying and being abused is spoiling their lives, so they choose happiness (with some regret) instead. Do you miss the reality of your parental family or is it the ideal that you are longing for? You will see, if you search this site, that there are lots of people in your situation, so you are not alone. And you can read the different solutions that people have found. If you do get in touch with your family again, set yourself some ground rules, especially how to deal with any abuse. You walked away once so you can do it again.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008):

You haven't detailed why you moved away from your family, so it makes it a bit difficult to offer advice.

Why not just give your family a phone call? Or send an e-mail, or even just post them a letter? (If for some reason you don't want them to know where you presently live, you could hire a post office box in another town with a redirect to a po box near to where you are.)

I would suggest that you at least talk your feelings over with your husband.

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A female reader, ive been ther girl United Kingdom +, writes (31 January 2008):

most people who move away from there parents settle in and dont miss them as much anymore but some people need family around them its how they find themselves and their confidence to be who they are.

I really think that maybe moving closer to your family may be a better idea that way you could stil be independant as in living on your own but then you would be closer to your family for that extra bit of support

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A female reader, bee12 Ireland +, writes (31 January 2008):

Can you not go visit them? are they that far away, can you not call them? Family is so important, you should get in touch with them again, I know you see your husbands family but blood is thicker than water, you need your family too!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008):

I'm so sorry to hear that. Family is very important. You obviously must feel so if this hurts so much. I'm sure your family misses you and probably feel deprived that they aren't included in your new family. Why did you have to move away? Did you leave on good terms. Regardless I know that phone calls seems cheap but it's a great way to start. It's amazing how close you can feel through telephone correspondence. Try to make scheduled visits to see your family. Also try to stay close to your husbands family if you like them. Since they are family too, it's worth a try. Hang in there.

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