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I miss my ex terribly, should I try and get in touch?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 March 2012) 8 Answers - (Newest, 28 March 2012)
A female United States age 41-50, *roken33 writes:

My ex and i have been broken up for two months. We were together about a year he is the one that broke it off just saying things weren't going to work and he didn't want to try anymore. I miss him terribly should i try to make contact? Even though since the break up he acts like he hates me. Please help

View related questions: miss my ex, my ex

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A female reader, Plexi Canada +, writes (28 March 2012):

Plexi agony auntOf course he will contact you again, they always do:)............BUT............don't just sit there waiting for him to contact you BECAUSE THAT NOT GOOD FOR YOU AND IT'S A VERY BIG TURN OFF FOR MEN. Live your life, have fun, go out with your friends, date a couple of other guys to see what else is out there and to learn what you like and don't like and show him you are a strong, independent woman!

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A female reader, broken33 United States +, writes (28 March 2012):

broken33 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Do you think that will make him want to contact me again? This break up has been tough especially since he still admits i was the best girlfriend he ever had

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A female reader, Plexi Canada +, writes (27 March 2012):

Plexi agony auntDO NOT CONTACT HIM..........the more you try to go after him the more he will pull away. If you want him back, the best thing you can do is move on with your life, forget about him and let him wander about you and come to YOU.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (27 March 2012):

CindyCares agony aunt I don't quite understand what you mean by " he acts like he hates me ". So, are you still in contact with him ? Do you see him often, do you meet him socially ?...

If the answer is no , how would you know how he is acting .

Or, do you mean that his silence, his not being in contact with you is spiteful ?... naaah, some times you've got to be cruel to be kind. Once one has decided to break up, " staying friends " is often pointless and even more often torturous for the one who has been dumped . If he's sparing you the pain of false hopes and disappointed expectations, thank him mentally, he's helpimg you to move on.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (27 March 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI am sorry you are hurting. DO NOT contact him. He probably needs to be NO CONTACT for himself for many reasons. YOU should use it as a way to mourn your loss and move on…. Normally I give someone 6 weeks to mourn the loss of a romance… you my dear are past that window…

IF you feel the need to tell him things… WRITE IT OUT… either longhand or on the computer…. Write it all out… long overwhelming dramatic repetitive… ongoing… day to day.. just write it ALL OUT…. Keep writing… over and over and over.

DO NOT send it to him. In fact, write it in long hand and then burn it or print it then burn it.... or put it away in an envelope sealed and dated in a drawer you never go in...

BE STRONG…

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (27 March 2012):

TasteofIndia agony auntI wouldn't contact him. He seems to have made himself pretty darn clear. I'm so sorry, sweetness!! But like the first poster, I think contact will only be more painful and cause you more hurt than the hurt you're feeling now. Check out this question for more help:

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/any-advice-to-keep-me-going-through-this56.html

Best of luck, my dear!

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A female reader, broken33 United States +, writes (27 March 2012):

broken33 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Yeah your right i may not i winder why he acts like he hates me i didn't do anything hurtful to him

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A female reader, SavannahDawn United States +, writes (27 March 2012):

If you want my honest advice? No.. because if he acts as though he hates you it could potentially hurt even more if you try to warmly open up or speak to him and he acts cold or indifferent. If you think it's worth a try to just say something simple and ask how he is then you should try it. Just try to avoid the "I miss you's" and stuff because it could push him away further.

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