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I miss my bestfriend! But he isnt speaking to me, what should I do?

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 February 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 12 February 2012)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Ok so I am having a problem with one of my best friends. we haven't spoke with each other for 2 days and this is why...so everday before school me and my friend hang out.(we usually just walk around and we don't have any classes so this is the only time we see each other) well anyway lately he's not been hanging out and has been smoking with people. we'll usually he would come and get me and I would hang out with them. well now he doesn't, and I wait and wait and wait for him. (usually he takes 20-25mins) usually I wait for him, but this week I told myself no that I was because i'm just wasting my time. (we only have 30mins before school starts) well the 1st day I didin't wait for him, i was talking to someone and she said "yeah he left you for dead he's been smoking for a while." (which hurt my feelings and made me mad) well he walks in, and tries to give me a hug and I don't react(which i'm someone who takes hugs very seriously, so it was hard for me not to hug him back.:( ) and then he goes f*** you. and today I didn't wait for him, even though it looked liked he was going to hang out with me, he met one of his smoking buddies, and hung out with them, h elater came in and said nothing to me, didn't even look at me. tomorrow I kinda want to wait for him...the whole 25mins, even if he doesn't talk to me. I'm afraid to talk to him cause I know he's mad and that it'll be awkward. I feel like such a selfish,ignorant person. I miss him..a lot, but not all of he BS he brings, but being his friend is worth it. i'm so terrible at this so please help me should I do? should I talk to him?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2012):

How is being his friend worth it and you call him a best friend? Nowhere did I read where you guys talk on the phone, get together, share hobbies outside of school.

I'm sure he talks on the phone, hangs out with people after school, and has interests he does with others. Rarely is the sum of a persons total social life existing in those minutes before class!

I'm sure you want to be a great friend to him but do you think maybe you are trying to push a friendship on him? Stop waiting for him and start hanging out with those real friends...you know, the ones you can call up to come over who want to spend time with you! Those are the people who being a friend is worth it. He sounds like a school acquaintance.

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A female reader, BlondeBabe x United Kingdom +, writes (12 February 2012):

BlondeBabe x agony auntSchool is the place that shapes people for the way we will be in the future, often early signs indicate our paths. Still being at school myself I have found that people seem to split into different groups and your friend has chosen to join those who want to seem 'cool' by essentially ruining their lifes.

Now that the serious stuff is out of the way, my opinion is that he isn't worth your time. That's the way school is you lose friends and you make new ones, but as long as he is hanging out with this new crowd of friends I wouldn't bother with him. I'm sure that he will eventually realise that he is making a mistake.

For the moment, let him go but I feel sorry for him because he has lost such a an amazing, caring friend in you.

BB x

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A female reader, Deagan United States +, writes (10 February 2012):

Deagan agony auntHe said "F*** you" to you. He said it to a girl. Is that how guys show respect these days? No.

Don't talk to him if that's how he's going to act. I'm not sure saying the f word is the appropriate response when someone doesn't hug you. A smart person would realize that something is wrong and would want to find out what.

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