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I might be in love with my female teacher...what should I do?

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Question - (11 August 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 14 August 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Okay, so here how it goes.

I am female!

I am 16, 15 when it happened, 2 days before my 16th birthday i think :/

I had to swop tutors because mine was away for a little while.

And i had a new tutor for about 4-5 months...

At first it took a while to Get used to her way of talking and how she was.

But then as the weeks went on i gradually realised i was falling for her.

9 months along the lines, and i think i may be coming to terms with my feelings for her, I dont want to.

She is amazing.

Really pretty, and just really funny

I used to spend most dinners and breaks just hanging around.

Because i got close to her. And she knew some stuff about me. I felt like i could trust her.

And then i left school.

And its killing me, Because i realise now, how much she means to me :(

Every song i here, it reminds me of her, every thing i see it reminds me of her. Everytime someone is talking about her, i get really defensive. And everything i hear, i think it is her name.

I have only been able to tell one person, And she understands me, and she reckons it is my hormones, but i dont no. I'm confused.

Never in my life did i consider how my life would be if i was a lesbian. In fact it has never crossed my mind. Im just not. I wanna have kids and get married.

I find guys attractive. but im finding it hard to start any sort of relationship up at the minute, because i feel guilty because of my feelings for this teacher.

And no, She doesn't know. She thinks i had a crush on her male colleague, which she always used to tease me about.

I just wish, i could tell her, but sometimes, i think it is all in my head.

Somedays i tell myself i love her too bits,

then other days the thought sickens me.

But i can tell you something now!

I will never ever ever, forget her!

I idolise the woman.

:D

View related questions: crush, lesbian

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A female reader, unknown x United Kingdom +, writes (14 August 2009):

unknown x agony auntHi,

your story's interesting. I was in near enough the same situation from the age of 14-16. I know how painful it is. I ended up telling my female teacher, and to this day we're still friends. Though i think mine was a one off situation. I don't think it'd be good for you to act on your feelings, or dwell on them too much, though i know when you feel consumed by love, that's difficult.

You've left school. Use that as your fresh start, your clean slate. Best of luck, and give me a message if you need to

x

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A male reader, RAINORFIRE United States +, writes (11 August 2009):

RAINORFIRE agony auntsincerly yours you always give sutch good advice well i dont i hve anything to say, now. I hope things work out for the poster

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009):

Well darling, first we must toss that giult out the window! What have you got to feel guilty about? She is a human being, you are a human being.. It's not like you've fallen in love with your neighbor's dog! Your have an attraction toward her mind i am guessing. (meaing it did not start out because you were glancing down your shirt and started to feel all tingly). There is no reason that you should not fall in love with a woman, if she has the qualities of a human being that you would fall in love with. Does the fact that she is female make her unloveable?

You have to come to terms with those feelings fully.. not just that they are there, but that they are ok to have.

Now unfortunately, I doubt that anything can come of this love or infatuation that you have, as she is a teacher and most likely a bit older than you, and depending on the age of consent where you are, prehaps illegal. And this is all assuming that she is gay.

I think it'd be really best for you to try and move on frm this and just take a new idea from this experience: the idea that women and men are equal in your heart and you have a new, open mind.

You can get married to a woman in certain places and you can adopt kids, so there's no reason to think that those things are impossible. However, if you are atttracted to men as well, then i suggest looking more in that feild.

This may just have to be one of those things that almost everyone goes through: lovnig someone you cannot have. But we all get over it, as will you. In time of course. I know it doesn't seem that way now, but as you meet new people in life and get on to trying new things, you will find yourself thinking of her less and less.

doodluck!

~Sy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009):

Well you may have feelings for her but it sounds like a crush.. You might not be a lesbian your probably bisexual, dont worry about it so much and dont hold up on one person that might not feel the same way move on and find someone else that feels the same.

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