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female
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*oonbeam
writes: Hi-advice needed pls!!8 years ago I met a guy. I'll call him 'John'. The spark between us was so electric, we spent every day together from then on.I then became pregnant, but due to various circumstances we agreed to have an abortion. Our relationship didnt last long after that.Before we split up, John had always said that when you split up from someone, you dont contact them etc. I respected his feelings so I didn't contact him.Two weeks later he rang me to talk and we met up and he said that he was upset about the abortion. During the 8 years we have known each other, we have met up probably once a year, and text each other a bit more.It transpired that when he was younger he had a bad experience with a former girlfriend (she left him for someone else) which explains why he used to become withdrawn. I have always known that he is 'the one' but I now know that it was the wrong time for us.One time we met up I had just split with my then boyfriend and I had too much wine to drink and stupidly asked him if there was a chance we could get back together. Even though I had just poured my heart out to him about splitting up with my ex! He said that it was water under the bridge. I met up with John a couple of days ago and I have realised that my feelings for him are so strong and he is my soulmate. I don't know where to go from here. We want the same things out of life and we have such a connection.(We must have, to stay in contact all these years!)I hope I have explained myself properly!!Please Help!!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2006): Well, I think you have two options. You either start a real relationship with him or you say good-bye forever. You can never have a real relationship if you keep meeting up with him. It's not fair to yourself or your future love, whther that's John or someone else. It's easy to delude yourself in this situation- thinking he's the one because you can't have him or you shared a special event that you think he only understands. It's best to tell him that you still have feelings but you're not willing to live a half life any more. Its now or never.
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