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I love sex but don't have orgasms!

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 July 2010) 11 Answers - (Newest, 31 July 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm a female and I love having sex. This may be a weird question to ask, but I'm curious. Every man that I've had sex with experienced an orgasim but myself. Even my friends have. Is it me? Are my sexual partners not pleasing me enough? I would really like to know. Its a bit fustrating.

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A female reader, babymonkey422 United States +, writes (31 July 2010):

babymonkey422 agony auntI just have to say one thing... I love how almost all of the male readers blame it on the partner not knowing what they're doing LOL!!! No guys.... like I said, for some women it's IMPOSSIBLE for them to have an orgasm with penetration alone. It's a scientific fact so stop saying it's because she hasn't found someone who can do it right... lol

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (28 July 2010):

DoubleM agony auntVery few young women have orgasms because very few young men know how to make it happen for a woman.

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A female reader, SirenaBlusera Mexico +, writes (28 July 2010):

SirenaBlusera agony auntBabymonkey is right, very few women orgasm just from having a penis in their vagina, they have to have clitoral stimulation. It's an extremely high percentage of women- 90 percent if I'm correct- that can only orgasm through clitoral stimulation.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010):

That`s because you haven`t had sex with a man capable of

bringing you to an orgasm!

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A female reader, Moo's Mum New Zealand +, writes (27 July 2010):

Moo's Mum agony auntI can't have vaginal orgasms I can only do it with clitorial stimulation. As The Realist suggests play a lot yourself so you know what works and then you can direct your partners. Also don't set too much stead in what your friends say they may not be being completely honest.

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (27 July 2010):

The Realist agony auntYou may have difficulty having vaginal orgasms, and your partners may not be doing it right. You have to figure out what works for you and then direct them. Everybody is different when it comes to orgasms. Don't rely on other people, try fooling around by yourself and see what you like. It may also be a relaxation/worrying thing when you get close to orgasm. You think your close and it ends up psycing you out because there is too much pressure on you to finish.

Hope the helps and maybe some others can give you techniques to try.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010):

You sound like a fun girl. I don't know any girls that have sex with their friends, much less admit that they have made their friends orgasm. It's odd that somehow you can get your friends to orgasm, but you can't. So you obviously know what is involved, why can't you just explain to your boyfriend what you do to your girlfriends to make them orgasm and ask him to do the same technique on you? Most guys would appreciate some instructions. I think vaginas should come with an operator's manual.

It just sounds like you are not aroused enough at the start of intercourse. Ask your partner if he would perform oral on you first, or finger you whilst he licks your nipples for a while. That gets my girl going and she almost always orgasms during intercourse. You need to make sure you are orgasming as you start intercourse. My girl can orgasm for about 20 minutes during intercourse. She goes through varying levels of orgasms over that period, however, she must be well on her way to orgasming before I penetrate her otherwise she may not cum.

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A female reader, petina1 United Kingdom +, writes (27 July 2010):

petina1 agony auntCan take a long time. You will be one of those people who are waiting for Mr. Right and trust enough to really let yourself go. Only then will you feel fullfilled. Making love and having sex are really worlds apart as you will find out one day. I suppose thats where quality over rides quantity. hope this helps.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010):

You are not alone...I understand extacty where you are coming from. I recall reading a study that cited on average most women do not have orgasms during or after sex...so I don't think there is anything wrong with you.

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A female reader, InLoveW/Love United States +, writes (27 July 2010):

There could be many reasons why you cant experience an orgasm. A lot of girls these days have sex before they are emotionally ready because of peer pressure, lack of self-control, etc. All problems in the bedroom are either mental, emotional, or physical. Think about whats going on in your head while having sex.

My advice to you would be to fight the urge to sleep with a man you like and wait for the man you love. The sex means so much more and as a result feels better. I didn't have my first real orgasm until i slept with my boyfriend at age 19. It took six months of sex and he had to take it slow and be very gentle. But now i can have two even three at a time.

This may not be your problem but I hope this helped in some way :)

Good luck!

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A female reader, babymonkey422 United States +, writes (27 July 2010):

babymonkey422 agony auntWell while you're having sex to you play with yourself? As in your clitoris?

I know when I first had sex I realized that penetration alone won't get me to orgasm. A lot of girls are like that, where they have to have clitoral stimulation in order to have one so maybe you just fall into that category. So if you don't masturbate go ahead and try it and see what feels best for you and then the next time you have sex play with yourself during until you go :)

I've only been with one guy that complained about my hands being in the way but most guys don't care and understand. If he doesn't though and thinks there's something he's not doing right just explain that it's literally impossible for you to have an orgasm with no clitoral stimulation. Maybe not those exact words but you know what I mean :P

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