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female
,
anonymous
writes: My sisters husband doesnt like me ... my sister only knew this guy for 6 months before he proposed and they've been married for 6 years. He's always been rude, distant and cold towards me in the time ive known him. My sister knows theres a problem but obvously has to be loyal to him but it upsets me very much cuz we were always very close and i love her so much . . but he has caused a real rift between us. Their eldest daughter who is 3 i bonded with mostly and she adores me , i can only see the kids when he is not around cuz its the only time i feel comfortable to see my sister and the girls, when he is not there to hurt, upset or put me down.Do i carry on this way feeling like shit whenever i see him and avoiding him for my sisters sake or do i call him up and confront him??? im not on calling him terms and never have been! Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jovial  + ♥, writes (8 November 2006):
 if that is the case he seem like a very arrogant person without any family values. as u know how this affected ur sister try to find a way that work for u and her, she loves both of u and doesnt want to loose any ofu. the children needs u as their aunt so just be there for them and try to make the best of this impossible situation maybe one day he will realise his mistakes and apologise from his heart. hope for the best for ur sister's sake u both deserve a healthy family environment. good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjovial whoever u are, i love ur advice!! u are so right and ihave asked him before, like 3 years ago after he insulted me infront of my sister and made her cry, my sister MADE him get on the phone to me to apologise and he said to me 'i can honestly say i dont know what it is, i speak to all different types of people everyday and i honestly dont know what it is with u' what on earth is that?? surely that means that he DOES know what it is and he just cant say. either way its no excuse to disrespect ur wife's sister in such a way. oh well i really have tried being nice to him but he just acts like he's the man and has to put me down , what can u do. i knowhe's intimidated by me cuz ihave such a mad personality so thats that!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2006): I think for your sister's sake and yourself you should ask for a meeting with him, your sister and an outsider (someone neutral and not family) and get to the bottom of what the whole thing is about. If that doesn't do it then you will have to live your life around him. See your sister and the kids only when he isn't around. He could be making her life uncomfortable when you've gone, that has happened to me before.
Have one go at ironing out the problem and if that doesn't do it then just put up with the situation.
I wish you well.
Take care
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A
female
reader, Jovial + ♥, writes (7 November 2006):
Hi there
lets say there is something u said the first time u met and he didnt like it and still holding grudges unfortunately u cant remember as u didnt mean anything by it or maybe ur sister shared with him something bad u did and he always sees u as a bad person and ur sister is afraid to tell u she just couldnt keep her mouth shut.
even if either one of the two possibilities is right it doesnt excuse his behavior towards u.
i think ask ur sister why he doesnt like u and if u are sure it wont make matters worse u can humbly ask him why he hates u that much, probably he will tell u why, if he respect family values he will be open about it and u guys can resolve this. just remember to be calm bcos u love ur sister and their children and u dont want to risk loosing that so be the peacemaker so that if the situation turns ugly u will know u tried ur best to resolve it maturely. good luck
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A
male
reader, davie  +, writes (7 November 2006):
It sounds like there might be more to this than what you've said. Surely your sister must have some idea about why he doesn't like you?
In my opinion your sister's loyalty lies with both her husband and her brother.
I wouldn't comfront him like you are thinking as it could just make things worse. I'd suggest you try and find out what the problem is some other way.
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (7 November 2006):
 I don't know if you have to comfront him, but you may want to talk to your sister about it. She should be able to find out what his problem is with you. After 6 years, she should already know. . . and maybe you do too. It may be he sees you as a threat to his time with his wife. I don't know. But, in any event, I'd get to the bottom of it.
Good luck.
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