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female
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*en31
writes: I am a 31 year old female married with a 5 year old daughter. I am only married because I wanted a child and because of family pressure. I love my husband very much but more as a friend and not a lover. I have known for a very long time that I am bi-sexual, however I fancy females more than males. Several months ago I started flirting with a new gal at work and she started flirting back. I have told her things that I have never told or would tell anybody else. I told her I wanted to have a sexual relationship with her but didn't want to have the emotional attachment, however she couldn't do just that because she didn't want to destroy our friendship in order to have this sexual encounter. I really was starting to get emotionally attached to her. She moved on with her career and we no longer work together. Just days after she quit her job I told her I didn't want her to call anymore. You see I have never been in love and I was frighted of being labeled if we were to hook up. I was ready to have her move in but I couldn't hurt my husband because he has medical problems and I promised him I would never leave. I think this gal is loving, caring, funny as can be and very supportive. Almost to good to be true. Did I just make the biggest mistake of my life? I am not the type of person to make the first move with anybody. I do think about her often. What should I do now?
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (24 January 2006):
 I really feel for you here because you are almost in double-bind (lose,lose) situation. Does your husband feel the same as you, in love but as a friend? Or does he love you completely? If the answer is the former there may be some scope for movement, if it is the latter then you would risk hurting your husband and maybe causing strife in your family unit.
I fear that your only option may be to try and put this behind you. This is however a great price to ask you to pay. However you do have a daughter whos future you can focus in building.In decideing what you do you will not just have to consider yourself but also your husband and your daughter. Also you have to bear in mind that you do not know this girl totally so while she may seem all those things now that has yet to be put to the test. Good luck with whatever you do.
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