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I love my boyfriend but he's not big enough for me!

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 January 2009) 9 Answers - (Newest, 13 June 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *eggiebrunette writes:

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a while now, and I really really like him. Everything in our relationship is perfect, except for he has a tiny penis (3" when erect) which cannot satisfy my needs... I don't want to lose him but do not know how much longer it will be before I start turning somewhere else. What should I do?

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A male reader, scorned316 United States +, writes (13 June 2013):

My wife and I had the same problem.

When we were dating she just flat out told me she was not satisfied. I didn't want to lose her so I suggested she see other men. Surprisingly it helped she didn't want a "big one" every night just occasionally.

Now six years later she has a boyfriend who is well endowed and she has made a few videos with him that I have watched and its amazing. Even though he is a lot bigger than me we still have a great active sex life.

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A male reader, Dave128 United Kingdom +, writes (20 January 2009):

Talk to your boyfriend and explain what you said here. It may be difficult for him, but if he thinks he will lose otherwise then it may be an good idea for you to buy a vibrator together and use it together so you can stay together.

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A female reader, megan1111 United States +, writes (19 January 2009):

Size isn't has important as is the quality of the relationship.

I have a friend (a older women) who left her husband because she said he couldn't satisfy her. When they got married, he was a virgin with a small penis and she didn't know this. Some years later, she couldn't take the sexual frustration anymore, she purchased a vibrator and later a dildo. Finally, she had her tubes tied so she could cheat on her (but she wanted to stay together because of the kids). Finally, they divorced and years later after all her sexual encounters here's what she said.

She should have taught him how to please her. It would have been so easy because he loved her. She was so hung up in what other guys had to offer that she missed what he had to offer. Love, security, fidelity, are much more important than some guy ripping you apart with a huge dick. Size won't give you bigger orgasms but the skillfulness of the lover will. In retrospect, she wishes she would have incorporated the use of her vibrator in the relationship rather than seek help outside. She said love and finanical security are much more important than youthful lust. The grass is not always greener on the otherside.

I remember this and pass it on the you. If you have found a keeper, keep him. If he's not going to leave you (and it sounds like he won't) he dead trying to satisfy you in sex, ensuring you are safe & comfortable, and always loving you. Talk to him and work out the sex thing because there's more to a relationship.

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A female reader, MutantKitten Canada +, writes (18 January 2009):

MutantKitten agony auntAll the nerve endings are located near the opening anyway. What about fingers, tongues, toys, and new positions? Maybe doggie style with a reach around for extra stimulation? Apparently 33% of women will never get off from intercourse, anyway.

Clearly you must encourage him to become the master of cunnilungus.

You might also want to make an appointment with a sex therapist before you give up on him! They are truly cosmic beings.

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A male reader, Mr frosty United States +, writes (18 January 2009):

i guess you could encourage him to take some "male enhancement" products or something like that if it really means that much to you. and i can understand how you would feel if you were in a sexual relationship and you werent being pleased, try teaching him something that satisfies you where size isnt a major part of the pleasure factor

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009):

Well i can only speak from experience. I used to have a boyfriend who was not very well endowed he also had erection problems but believe me he was the best lover i have ever had.

Our relationship broke up for other reasons but the love making was fantastic infact it was what held us together for so long and it was fantastic even before his penis was even involved.

What i am trying to say is that foreplay is a major part in any relationship and if you can be loving and caring during love making size is not important at all!

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A female reader, MuffinGirl Netherlands +, writes (17 January 2009):

MuffinGirl agony auntYou can't do much, except buy yourself vibrator or some other sex toy. :) I just hope that he can use his penis at the right way. Like first poster here said, tehnique matter too.

Try to find a way, that you'll be satisfied oral at least.

I think this is not good reason for breaking up relationship, especially because you really like him.

Good luck.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009):

You have a long, brutally honest talk with yourself. If this is seriously as big a deal as you're telling here, and if you honestly respect your boyfriend, you'll be doing him a favor if you break off with him. This lets him free to find someone else for whom his size won't be a problem. Same for you. Do this before you cheat on him - that would be a distaster all around, and would certainly devastate him. I'm assuming that's not what you want, that you like him enough not to want to wound him that severely.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009):

It's not the size of the swell, it's the motion of the ocean...

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