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male
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guywithmajorproblems
writes: Dear Cupid, I have a major problem, first it started out as a small inside joke then i started to feel different about it but now i'm in love with my best friend. I've told them how i feel about them and they keep saying that they don't want to be nothing more then just best friends. What the big problem is that i can't let that go, everytime i see them i smile and then they smile back. But it's not just that, we spend most of our day together at school and i feel this bond between us like something is going to happen. But seeing the person that you want to give your whole heart to and then having them not even look back at you feels the worst thing in the world. But Cupid what i'm axualy asking here is what should i do to help get my best friend to fall in love with me?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): So, I have a huge problem. I need help. I feel like my every attempt is futile. I'm typically shy when you first meet me and I warm up to people after a little.
The problem is girls judge you after only knowing you a short time, so I always just get put in that damn friend column. I can't bear it. I have fallen in love with 3 different very very close friends, at 3 different times in my life, and each one only has ever wanted to be my friend. Its too hard to keep going through this same problem over and over.
This last one is really killing me though. We talk on the phone together, and REALLY TALK, like neither of has ever talked to anyone before. We tell each other anything and everything, and she still just wants to be my friend. We have the same relationship goals, and a lot in common, and everyone tell us we would make the best couple. However she doesn't care. She says she just decided that I would only ever be a good friend long before me and her ever really started to get to know one another. This isn't just a friend thing. Its a best friend thing. She can name a hundred different things she likes about me, and not even one she doesn't. She can't even go one day without talking to me without getting depressed, but she just doesn't see the bigger picture I guess. I don't know what to do.
Help me if you have the answer cause I just can't shut my feelings for her off, and I don't think I have it in me to end our friendship either.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2007): To quote our former President, Bill Clinton, "I feel your pain."
I, too, have fallen in love with my best friend. We have been friends for almost 10 years. About 5 years ago, our friendship began including innocent sexual contact. And it has progressed from there. Originally I didn't love him, even when it turned to occasional sex play. BUt then one day something snapped (I wish I knew what this was, so I could "unsnap" it) and I fell in love. He lives in another state from me, so I only get to see him a few times each year. Every time we are together, I feel those longing love feelings all over again, and it takes a couple months for them to wear off. Sadly, I don't think that there is really any way to make a best friend fall in love. We all know that love just is. You can't create it or make it appear. If it does not exist for a person towards another, it never will. My hope now is that there will come along someone else for me to fall in love with, who will make me even forget I ever thought about being with my best friend at all. So just hang tight..I know your new love will come as well.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2006): hey i have the same problem there is this guy i really like him we go to the skating rink alomost every friday nite we hang out together but that all changed when the one bite happend i was with my firend and he came up to me and asked me to skate with him i said yes and as we were skating together he told me that many ppl have been telling him that i like him and i told him that was a lie now i need to get up and tell him that i really do like him for sure
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reader, guywithmajorproblems +, writes (4 December 2006):
guywithmajorproblems is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFrank thanks for helping me out and you were the only one to do so anyways. I really can't stop getting over him but now i think he's going out with my enemy and i sent him an e-mail about it and i just hope the worst hasn't happened. well you said that nither one of us took the first step i've tried but he seemed that bisexuality is wrong, i just hope that everything will be ok between us. He's still my best friend but i know that everything will be ok. Thanks again, and i'll try to update the situation later and later.
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reader, guywithmajorproblems +, writes (2 December 2006):
guywithmajorproblems is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe advice that Frank gave me didn't work. I tried and he wondered why i was ignoring him, he wondered what was the matter with me and why i was acting funny. I told him again how i felt and he's not going out with anyone and so i asked him again. Knowing that i like him isn't a crime and somehow i know that he's hiding something to me. I mean the last time i was over at his house i used all my will power not to kiss him when we were sitting on his bed just talking about nothing. I want him to like me like i know he dose but now i feel like if i keep it up i'm going to lose him as a best friend. I mean i told some of my friends about me being bi and their ok with it. I just think that he dose care about me but he dosen't want to accept it. i can't go on like this anymore and i've tried everything to make my heart's desire but it's not enough. I want to let him go but i can't, i just can't. He's my best friend and i'm totaly in love with him. i can't stop crying all night knowing that he's alone and i just want to be with him, knowing that i'm alone always and he's the one that makes me smile, laugh and keeps me happy. He's the only one that can make me do that and he knows it. He's my best friend and i can't get over it no matter how hard i try. the one person that i want to give my whole heart to is looking the other way. And i can't take it anymore!!!
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (24 November 2006):
 Hi Guy,
It sounds like if this was love, and not just friends who fool around, you would not be questioning it like this.
Basically, if there was really something more deeper between you, you both would have moved on by now, and at least one of you would have taken that first important step. Neither of you has, and thus, that is the sign it was not meant to me.
I know that it is confusing, and that it hurts, but it is important to learn from this. Even though there is some truth in all humor, you can not assume humor is anythig more than humor.
I hope this eased the blow for you.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
male
reader, guywithmajorproblems +, writes (23 November 2006):
guywithmajorproblems is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut the major problem is that they seem to be hidding something from me and i can't tell if that is love or something else, but your question about "is your friend worth it?" I'm nor so sure i mean we hang out together and then we make eachother happy, would you call that just friendship or love? I mean we still kinda joke around like we are going out but then when we're by ourselves we are all over eachother, only because we think that it's a joke but sometimes i feel something and it hurts, but trying to be away from this person is that the best thing for me to do? By The Way Thanks Frank for responding.
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (23 November 2006):
Hi Guy,
You are in the "friends" category of your friend. It is unlikely that your friend will change that in time.
Here is my suggestion...I have used this to get back my ex-fiance, and it worked even after 7 years. You can read about it in my book From Loser to Seducer if you want.
The method will take time. You must separate yourself from this friend for a long period of time. Work to change yourself, and make yourself more attractive, not just physcially, but mentally and emotionally too. THEN, when you have SIGNIFICANTLY changed, you allow your friend to re-enter your life. As your friend has to get to know you again, you will have to be re-categoried in your friends brain. It is in that small window of opportunity that you will be able to make your friend fall in love with you.
This method works. I have used it, and it worked for me, but it is going to take work on your part. Are you sure your friend is worth it?
-Frank B Kermit
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