A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and i are 19 years old and have been seeing each other for 4 years and known each other 6. i love him so much words cant even explain but i cant stand his parents. they treat him and myself with no respect but expect us to bow down to them. his parents have stated in front of me that i'm the reason that he did not get into a good college. yet my selfing being a drug free straight a student, i can not understand how it is my fault because i'm the one who helped him graduate. we have recently started sleeping in the same bed when were at each others homes (being college students we both live at home) and his mother finds it necessary on more than one occasion to come into his room wake us both up and yell (only when drunk). my boyfriend does not take any of there rude comment to heart because he says they are just messing around but some of the things they say and do are very rude and disrespectful. i have told him that he needs to talk to them because i don't feel conferrable or at home at his house anymore, but i don't think he will ever talk to them. i really don't want to end our relationship over his parents because i really do love him. yet i don't think i can live like this for the rest of my life. i'm just so confused.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for everyones help i think i will try to wait it out and see how it goes but i think i agree with anonymous i don't think it will ever change so i just have to hope that when we move out my boyfriends will take a stand. so for now i will just keep loving him the way i always have and hope that he likes spending time at my house.
A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (10 September 2008):
 What you have to remember is that if you progress through this relationship you will have your own home and maybe children too one day. You will see a lot less of his parents then and will have more control over the time you spend with them. Grin and bare it for now, its unlikely they will change anytime soon, they are just being overprotective. Just smile sweetly and ignore the bad comments, its not forever x
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (10 September 2008):
 Well, of course it will be hard to talk to them.
Don't you think he may have tried before? Their behavior is embarrasing and I bet you're not the first person they've treated this way. He may have tried many times before and failed each one, so he just gave up. Also, if he hasn't tried this, he may feel fearful of them and he's unable to bring himself to do this.
Also, I think they see you as their scapegoat for their bad parenting. They may have been absent from their sons' life and never helped him enough in his studies and to stop feeling guilty they just pass the buck...onto you.
The only way to end this is to get out of the house and live in your own. No matter how many good things you will ever do, they will always find a small fault on you and blame you for it. There's no reason on tryng to appease them anymore, I bet.
But I remind you, do NOT blame your boyfriend for his parent's behavior. I bet he has no say in the house and even if he speaks out, they will not hear him out or end up hating him too.
So get out and live alone with him... or spend more time in your house.
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