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I love him but i'm not happy.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 July 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 13 August 2007)
A female United States age 26-29, *exxican_girl writes:

How do i break up with my boyfriend i love,but am not happy with?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007):

hey there,

i am a guy going through exactly what you are thinking of doing to your man. As i see it you need to identify the problem, even if you are confused about the whole thing.

Sit down with him if you can and explain your concerns about the relationship, whatever they may be.

If he is anything like me he is there to help you through this time, and he will want to do anything to make you happy. For me making my girl happy makes me happy, but i have been neglecting her and have taken her for granted. That will never happen again. But one thing more, ask yourself, how do you know that you love him, what exactly is it. Can you live without that and will you regret doing it in the future.

Hope my experience helps you a bit, if you havent already done something?

Upset man in uk

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A male reader, HelpingHand7 United States +, writes (30 July 2007):

HelpingHand7 agony aunti kinda disagree with what has been said because it doesnt look as though it would help much. i would first say try to fix the relationship so that you are happy, however if that doesnt work and you still dont feel happy sit him down and talk to him you can love someone and not be in love with them and if you arent in love you will only end up hurting him. just be honest with him about how you feel and hopefully he will understand. it might be that you love him as a brother of a friend but not as a boyfriend.

hope this helps

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A female reader, Sweet-thing United Kingdom +, writes (30 July 2007):

Sweet-thing agony auntHow can you love someone and not be happy? Perhaps you should work on why you're not happy, Are there things you can fix in this relationship? Is he doing things that are disrespectful or mean? If you can pin-point what the problem is, and address it, and are still unhappy then simply tell him you want out of the relationship.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (30 July 2007):

Danielepew agony auntMexxican girl,

How would you rather die: after a long, painful agony, or with just one cut of the blade? Here's part of your answer. If you're not happy with him, tell him right now, in a direct manner he can't misunderstand. Maybe you speak Spanish, and you might remember our saying, paisana: "Si me han de matar mañana, que me maten de una vez"; If I'm getting killed tomorrow, I want to get killed now".

Ask your boyfriend to go somewhere and give him the right and honest reasons why you don't want to be with him anymore. Make it sure he understands he has no hopes of getting you back; spare him and you the agony of his efforts in this sense. Make it also sure that he understand you respect him. If I were you, I wouldn't offer friendship; but, if you met with him, came across him, et cetera, I would show true appreciation for him, in a way he just couldn't misunderstand for affection.

Stop all calls, texts, e-mails, whatever, and ask your friends not to talk to him about you, and not to talk to you about him.

Believe me, you don't want him agonizing over this.

Hope this helps.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007):

Weneed more information, hun. There is a reason why you aren't happy, dear. If you say you love the guy but want to dump him..something is very, very wrong. Either one of two things. 1) You 'really' don't love him and expect him to make you feel exuberant, on top of the world all the time. If so, then 'you' have the issue. To be happy, comes from within you and how you treat the world beyond. Or...another thought. 2) Maybe you do 'love' him and he's treating you badly and you need a break to heal from what he's done. Which is it?

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