A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been married to my husband for almost two years now. Our marriage started out great. We both worked, so all our time off was spent with each other. After I found out I was pregnant, I quit my job and we moved someplace more affordable. He got a better job, but was always tired when he got home. I spent a lot of time home sick (it was a really hard pregnancy) so I was always ready to see him when he got home. He just wanted to spend time on the computer first.After the baby was born, an hour on the computer became four or five ours. Our dates consist of just going to see a movie. Not even dinner anymore. He hardly spends time with me or our new son, and doesn't talk with me about large decisions. A few weeks ago he even came home to inform me that he had quit his new job and was going to look for another one. No explanation as to why.At the beginning of our marriage, we had sex every night. Now I'm lucky if I get it once a week. I've tried talking to him on several occasions and his answer is always "What do you want me to do about it?" I tell him I want us to start spending more time together. It never actually happens.For Christmas I bought him a sexy Truth or Dare card game in hopes that it could spice things up a little. He took one look at it and said it was disgusting and that he was disappointed I would bring something like that in our home. He threw it away afterwards.I've been spending the past several months at home trying to take care of a baby who is now 8 months old. I don't sleep well, I get sick easily, I suffer from chronic headaches (still seeing the doctor for these), and my plea's for help and time from my husband are met with frustration on his part, demands that I give him some time for himself, and occasional half-assed attempts to play with the baby once in a while.I love my husband very much, but I just can't deal with this much longer and I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, Muscle and Sinew +, writes (14 January 2014):
 I'm so sorry! I've been there too or at least I still am. Haha. Been married for 6 years, and electronics has been an is sure from the gecko. Cell phone in hand constantly...on his Xbox...all the time. I still stay home with my almost two year old...it's hard. Harder than going out and working. You never have breaks...you don't have another adult to talk to. When my husband gets home, I like want to jump his bones because I miss him so much...and I feel like he's annoyed with me. Two years is still too soon to call it quits, in my opinion. I do believe that all my husband wants to do is relax for a bit to unwind...and I get that...my husband works all day with children...so I'm sure he just needs to sit back for a while...but at the same time, your husband needs to be considerate with you and your feelings. Try to compromise a bit...maybe on the weekends have a "no phones, computer" rule...spend it outside with you baby. Do family outings! Hope this helps! So far it has helped out our marriage...most importantly the relationship with my husband and son...before my husband seemed to be so distant with our son. Hope this helps!! Good luck!
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (1 January 2014):
 My guess is he "thinks" you stay home all day doing "nothing" and then expects him to do "everything" after he comes home from work. This is not an uncommon attitude from guys with "housebound" wives.
My suggestion. FIND someone you trust to watch your son from time to time, go out and find a job even if it is part time. And I think you need to sit him down after you son is asleep and talk. He needs to explain why he quit a job without having a new one lined up.
The chronic headaches - did you have an epidural? Because I know a few women who ended up with that after epidurals, but the good news is it CAN go away with time.
Do you think the headaches are connected to stress?
The Truth and Dare game, well I can see why he felt it was a little inappropriate for a Christmas gift, but being so outraged and disgusted by it? That is just odd.
Seems like he checked out of the marriage a long time ago.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (31 December 2013):
 He's checking out of the relationship. He doesn't know how to break it to you, but to ignore his kid is inexcusable. Any man can make a babe but it takes a real man to be a father. He's repulsed by sex now that it's associated with responsibility and lack of personal time. I won't be surprised to find shemale porn or dating sites on his computer. He finds sex to be disgusting, makes one wonder if he's into something else. Maybe to him, after seeing the baby pop out of your body he's instantly turned off sex. Now you are the mother figure whose only job is to breastfeed.
If I were you I would look for jobs to open up my options for the future. He has issues that only he would understand.
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