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I love him but he loves her!...I cant win!

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Question - (27 May 2009) 10 Answers - (Newest, 30 March 2011)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I love him so much.He loves her. She loves him. Everybody wins but me. I just can't get over him. He's my best friend and I'm happy for him, on the outside, but on the inside, I'm dealing with the pure agony of it all. I want him so badly but I know it's not lust because I loved him long before I had ever felt lust. What do I do? However it turns out, somebody is going to lose. I am completely clueless. I tried to move on but for some odd reason, I can't. Please,help me out.

View related questions: best friend, move on

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2011):

Sorry hun, i'm in the same situation and to be honest, you'll never win. Put on a happy face for him and when your having a bad day eat some ice cream, call up your girls and go to the club/bar. explore you options and love being single! Really, the pain is never gonna go away, sorry girl :***(((((

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A female reader, isheia United States +, writes (10 April 2010):

i am going through the exact same thing.i feel for this man like ive never felt for any other man but he is with "her". it sucks it hurts. i get so upset i refuse to talk to him, then i miss him like crazy. its a difficult situation.and what im trying to do it keep trying to move on. as of now it seems these men are just taking space. if he does know how u feel there is nothing u can do. just try to move on, because he has made his choice. its hard i know but waiting only hurts more.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2010):

same problem here. btu i guess she must be good for him- for my guy because he chose her. i am obviously too young. Hes 19 im barely 16.all i can offer is to move on.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010):

I'm in the same boat! It's so hard... I just wish I could move on and meet someone better (as hard as it is to believe there is someone better) as quickly as he was able to. But I know there is someone better, who'll love me like crazy and never be able to get over me :) So worry about finding him! Because I promise you he exists and he will be SO much better :) ALSO- listen to comes and goes by Greg Laswell and Just Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Buble :) :)

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A female reader, meganlove United States +, writes (14 February 2010):

I am in the same situation. I love him, I have for a long time. He keeps getting new girlfriends and I feel so lost without him. We're best friends and we have been for as long as I can remember. All my friends tell me he likes me too but they're my friends, what are they supposed to say? I love him more than he could ever love me.

Forever and always,

Megan3

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A female reader, smile! United Kingdom +, writes (22 January 2010):

i no how you feel. its sooo hard to let go. but maybe you should try meeting new people. i no thats probally not what you want to hear right now. but give it a go.

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A female reader, kittykhaos United Kingdom +, writes (27 May 2009):

kittykhaos agony auntplease do yourself a favour and walk away because otherwise you could wait forever for him to leave her and he may never. If he truly loves her. I know this is harsh and My best friend waited for me for 3 years and i was in love with him ( please read my question as a full explination). But if he has never shown you interest then you are probably setting yourself up for a fall. You could either confront him tell him how you feel and risk your friendship or you could stay there for 5 years watch him marry someone else and wonder why you waited so long to move on either way you need to do something but hope and wait. Good luck i know its hard x

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A male reader, doafreak United States +, writes (27 May 2009):

doafreak agony aunti know what your going through, i fell for my girlfreind six years ago and i never quit loving her, she always came to me with her boy problems and i listened and gave advice, i waited and watched as she went threw bad relationships and good ones. i was always there for her and finally she relised how much she loved me. stay with him, be his freind, the one who's there when all the other girls walk away, and hell eventually be yours and your love will be stronger for it

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2009):

However it turns out? Looks like the turnout has already happened: he loves her and she loves him. Not much you can do but occupy yourself with other things and move on. No one loses, not even you- you don't want to be with someone that doesn't want you and it's good you know that now instead of harboring false hope. You have your answer and closure.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2009):

Move on, your young and just beginning to understand the feeling of love. I know the intensity of the feeling, I know it hurts, let it burn, but make sure you learn from it. We don't always get what we want in life but what is an experience it you can't learn from it. Keep your self busy! Make yourself date other people! This is a must! You will grow from this experience. I know it hurts, love hurts, you live and you learn.

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