A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship for just over two years. The man I am dating has had financial problems from the very beginning. Of course I have helped him out but this has put a strain on our relationship. IN addition to this he has also lied to me on several occasions about doing drugs. I even at one point found drug items in my house. I have tried really hard to work with him but he has an addicitive personality and is very charming. The passion died a long time ago in our relationship and we have not been intimate for awhile. I love him so much and I know he can be a much better and stronger man but he just has past demons that have creeped into our lives. We currently live together in a house I bought in my own name mainly because of the money problems. We broke up this week and my heart has been wrestling with this all week. Do I let him stay here or do I need to have him move out so I can fully heal from this relationship? He has mentioned that he wants to try and salvage whats left of our friendship but I am finding it really hard to see him here or when he is not here wondering who he is with or what he is doing. Help me get on with my life.Confused and Heartbroken in phoenix
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female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (31 July 2009):
 Hi, looks like you have based this whole relationship on this guy's 'potential' instead of realistically basing it on what he actually 'is'- a guy that lies, does drugs, has money problems, and an addictive personality. BUT....he's charming, right? Is that really a reason to sweep all bad behaviors under the rug?
You are an adult and the person you choose to share your life with should complement your life in positive ways, not put you at risk by leaving drugs around the house and burdening you financially. He's a grown man and he can move out and that's the only way you will be able to "fully heal" and move on from this destructive relationship. Take care.
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