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I love her, but can't say it out loud!

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 November 2017) 4 Answers - (Newest, 4 December 2017)
A male Tunisia age 26-29, anonymous writes:

i knew this girl for 3 months now and we are getting along so well, i love everything about her and i feel like home when i'm with her. we match to each other and have the same frequency. i'm a great listener and i love to listen to her speak. but... i'm falling for her now but i know she is not falling for me, only looking at me as a great friend. we had sex ones after she had fought with her ex boyfriend, i was her rebound sex. the problem here is that we are moving in together as roommates to reduce our costs for studies and living, she is still into her ex and thinking of going back with him. i don't wanna tell her what i feel cause i fear losing her

what should i do now

View related questions: her ex, roommate

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (4 December 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntHow can you loose her when you do not have her? I will be honest with you here, if you move in with her it will only be yourself that you will be hurting. If you have feelings for her moving in together will make it worse, how would you feel living with her if she gets back with her ex and there relationship is right there in your face? Honestly OP you are only going to torture yourself.

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A male reader, PJ Roy American Samoa +, writes (24 November 2017):

I've been in your shoes dude. Lots of guys have been in your shoes.

In less than 10 years' time you'll realize that all of what you are saying,

"i love everything about her and i feel like home when i'm with her. we match to each other and have the same frequency. i'm a great listener and i love to listen to her speak. but... i'm falling for her now"

and want to believe is 'true', well it is only 'real' so long as *you* want it to be real.

Have you ever been friends with a girl where you firmly believed that you had the greatest, deepest, most precious, life-defining friendship ever, only to find out she did not give a rat's ass about patching things up the moment you two hit your first bump in the road?

You were just another most expendable guy all along. She was simply happy to let you believe whatever you wanted to believe.

Well, yes, the ladies have got that game mastered down to a 't'; it's like some kind of order of nature that they do, or something.

Only you can decide when you'll come out of your shell and start living *your* own life, your way.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (24 November 2017):

N91 agony auntLiving together is a terrible idea.

If you think things are hard work now it will increase tenfold when all she's doing is spending time with her ex/bf or crying on your shoulder about him. If she sees you as a friend and you want more then you're really barking up the wrong tree. I've been there, you're wasting your time massively and making things become a lot more complicated by moving in together.

Even if you tell her it's very unlikely that she will reciprocate feelings. You've already told us you were a rebound. You need time away from her for your feelings to die down and date other people. You CANNOT stay friends with someone you want something more with, it just does not work.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom + , writes (24 November 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntOP, you can't live together like this. You want more and she doesn't. This isn't love at all - you have a crush on her. You don't even know much about her yet, after only three months.

Find another housemate because this arrangement will be messy.

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