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male
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*elboy1681
writes:I am so much in love with this girl and i asked her to marry me then a couple of weeks later at the end of May she found out that she was pregnant then things started to change between us, she told me that she was pregnant to her best friend who she slept with before we got together but i told her that i would stand by her and of course i was upset but when i got to see the baby in October i just new that she was my daughter i dont know why but i felt it deep down in my heart but she is so sure that she is her friends child and not mine but i dont believe her. we are now seperated and it is wrecking my life because i love them both so much and i want my ex back.what do i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2007): This is a really tough one, but i think Irish has answered it just right. Let her know that you are there for her and the child. Get a DNA test done, you may be the father. It isn't easy bringing up kids on your own, i know i have done it, but it is very rewarding and isn't impossible. I think once she sees that you are there to help, as a friend, then she will let you into her and the baby's world but don't push. Her emotions will be all over the place thanks to hormones.I wish you well and hope the outcome goes well.
Take care
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2007): You want to marry her and start a married life and raise a family, and there is nothing wrong with that. I respect your committment, your love and devotion to her and this baby. While you don't say why you both separated, I think you may have no choice. You need to accept the decision that perhaps she doesn't want what you want. We need to be realistic about this. At minimum, you need a woman who wants to be your wife and wants to share her life with you. We marry someone for mutual happiness and reciprocated love. It doesn't sound like she wants what you want. Or she'd be by your side. Is it possible she has re-connected with the 'friend' that she says is the father of the child? I would suggest to you, however to get some DNA genetic testing done. It's important for that child to eventually know who it's biological Father is. If this child is yours, then you have rights, as the natural father. And you also have obligations to ensuring this child has the best life and future ahead of it. Financially and emotionally. I am sorry for your pain, dear...there is nothing I can say to comfort you through this loss. What I do suggest is: letting her know that you can still be her friend (no strings attached and no expectations,on your part) and that you respect her and her wishes. She needs the space to get her life in order and she needs solid footing, now that she is singlehandedly raising a child. Take care, dear.
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