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I lost weight but I'm still not fully happy. How can I gain confidence?

Tagged as: Health, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 September 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 October 2007)
A age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hey everybody, i am 17 years old and did weigh 16 stone. i was a size 18/20 clothes and had glasses. i felt fat and ugly. i got bullied all the way through school every day i would get a comment "fat bitch" "errr look its blobby" "haha fatty bum bum" exetra. i really wasn't happy with myself and i had no self confidence at all. i would go to school in all black to try cover my self up then i would walk around school alone and then go home and comfort eat. it was a vicious cycle. it got so bad that at 14 years old i left school and refused to back because it was torture but since i left. i have got a bit more confidence. lost 6 stone. dropped just under 10 stone and a size 12 clothes. i have started straightening my hair and wearing a bit of make-up. i feel a lot happier and have done exercise after exercise after exercise. managed to keep my body in shape and not have no excess skin of anything. my mom said its because i'm still young. its managed to fit back into shape. i have no stretch marks any more and personally think my body looks ok. i still go running 3 times a week. and eat an apple or orange instead of a chocolate bar. i have a salad sandwich or a ham sandwich instead of a crisp sandwich. and i have made tonns of new friends because i go out and have fun. i still need to boost my confidence. i don't go out that much and i still don't feel perfectly comfortable with myself and i still want to loose more weight. my mum says if i loose anymore it wont suit me and she says i have a perfect figure now. does anyone know how i can boost my confidence even more and make myself fully happy and comfortable? sorry if this question is too long and sorry if it has no purpose. hopefully someone can understand and help me. thanx for reading.

View related questions: bullied, confidence, gain confidence, stretch marks

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A male reader, Sandman United States +, writes (1 October 2007):

Sandman agony auntThe most attractive thing about a woman (or a man) is that they FEEL like they're beautiful. This is hard to do when you've had years of being told you're fat, or ugly or whatever the case might be. Phil is right, school kids can be cruel.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight, but it does become a problem when it becomes obsessive - meaning it's all you think about everyday adn night. Do yourself a favor, take a look at the girl in the mirror. Then, think about what that girl used to look like. Does the girl in the mirror make you smile? Remember you said "...personally I think my body looks okay." "Okay" is not good enough - you need to believe and feel that the girl in the mirror looks GREAT! She looks good! When people take notice that you feel good about yourself, they start to wonder if they're missing something. Maybe they're not looking at the same person you're looking at and then they're behaviour begins to change - just like yours did.

Believe in your heart that you are beautiful. That is the key to self confidence. Confidence that people will like you for you, not for what you look like. And if your friends don't like the way look -find better friends. And then you all can compliment each other on who good the other looks - because hey, there goes a bunch a good looking girls walking down the street! Believe it!

Hope this helps.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007):

Schoolkids can be so bloody cruel, girls more so than boys. You're now doing absolutely the right thing by eating sensibly and taking some exercise.

You've had so many years of this bullying at school that it's difficult to shake off the bad memories, but you're now a different person and you have to believe that you are. You're no longer the victim and all you have to do is convince yourself of this. Your confidence will grow naturally as time goes by.

Listen to you mum regarding any further weight loss - you don't want to end up with anorexia or bulimia, and if you loose too much weight there's a good chance you'll put it all back on again and then some.

If wearing glasses still bothers you, how about contact lenses?

I'm sure you'll mature into a beautiful woman whose looks and personality will be envied by all - but you'll have to be very careful when it comes to the temptation of a chocolate bar or a burger too many!

I wish you well

Phil

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