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I lost my erection just before sex, is this ED?

Tagged as: Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 April 2016) 7 Answers - (Newest, 26 April 2016)
A male United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Hi all

Ive been with my partner 7 years now, we are both in our 40's and in decent health

Recently we were intimate, i gave her oral to orgasm, then went to have sex....to my horror i had gone semi hard, and couldnt have intercourse

My partner thought it was no big deal at all...she gave me a BJ to completion (i went back to hard for that) and as far as she concerned it is nothing!

But this has not happened to me before, and it is really worrying me

Is this really something that occasionally happens to most guys, or would you consider a doctors visit?

Thanks

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (26 April 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt You just have been verty lucky so far :).

The occasional loss of erection can happen even to a young stud in his 20s, you know ?. Lack of sleep, stress, anxiety, physical fatigue , too much drink, too much food, ... or just not really being in the mood at that particular moment. If it's once in a blue moon it does not mean anything particular, just that your body is not a machine and does not always respond unfailably and predictabily in the same way to the same signal.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (26 April 2016):

TasteofIndia agony auntYes, I think the only way this will become a problem, is if you get consumed with "OH MY GOD IS THIS A PROBLEM!??"

One time is nothing. Nothing at all.

Just relax, chill out, laugh it off and move along. So often these issues start out as nothing, get deeply psychological, and become 'something'. So definitely wipe it out of your mind, just get rid of it, and instead of getting worried - get sexy. Your partner seems awesome, a woman who just enjoys passion and intimacy. Enjoy it in a thousand ways!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for all the replies, it is appreciated

We had sex tonight and things were fine, ill admit it was on my mind a bit though

Hopefully it was a one off as people suggest...it is one thing to hear 'this is common' and another thing to have it happen though!

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A male reader, Garbo United States +, writes (25 April 2016):

Garbo agony auntI don't think this rises to the level of a doctor visit. It could have been a distraction of sorts, although things like alcohol could take out the erection. Also, testosterone depletion in 40s is faster during the day, meaning men have harder time holding the erection in evenings and nights even though the level is normal in the morning, it just gets depleted faster during the day. Working out more remedies those issues as does taking supplements like arginine, pine bark extract and others. Erectile dysfunction means you can't get it up no matter what and that would include the BJ your girl got you off on afterwards.

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A female reader, WhenCowsAttack United States +, writes (25 April 2016):

Not necessarily ed, and with just one instance I wouldn't worry.

It is, however, medically true that once men get into their 40s and beyond it takes more work to maintain an erection. Those little guys don't work perfectly forever! Fortunately, when that time comes, there are so many medical advancements that can help.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (25 April 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntThere is no need to visit a doctor if it has only happened to you once. I can see why you would be worried about it because it has never happened, but it really is normal and nothing to worry about.

There could be a lot of reasons why it happened, have you been stressed or over worked? Tired? I am sure it is just a once off, however if you keep worrying it may happen again because you are worrying over it so try not to think about it. If it is a regular occurrence then see a doctor surely.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2016):

If it happens again a few times I would think about going to your GP. Impotence can be a sign of diabetes or cardiovascular disease. If you are a regular drinker this can also affect your performance. Some men become impotent more frequently after 40. If this is really a one off I wouldn't worry quite yet. You seem very concerned if it's only happened once.

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