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I live in the States, he lives in Spain!

Tagged as: Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 October 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 13 October 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *cruz writes:

Sorry guys for so much details I just figured the more the better and also I am not an organized thinker so please excuse my spontaneous thinking!

Ok so I met this guy on my last night in Spain and I really like him. The only thing is I live in the states and he lives in Spain!

We've been talking on the phone but I've been doing most of the calling although he called me on my birthday and a few times after that which means something to me because usually I'm the one who does ALL the calling! And these calls were like unexpected ones!So anyway I must admit he's Dominican and I have always had bad experiences from Dominican guys real bad they have never had a job and they are big whores with tons of girls (the guys I've dated)...But he has a JOB lol, he wasn't all loud and annoying like his friends but he was all nonchalant/quite and IDK we get along so well I really really care about him but the one thing is he is so far away and I feel like how can I really trust him. And should I be planning to see him this summer when it's so expensive..He's suppose to be applying for a visa to come here first. I don't know how I should play this one out!

And also today he told me he will give me his sis' number so I can get to know her more. (that's who he lives with) So I felt like that was a big deal kinda but at end of the convo he told me to call me tomorrow bc he cant talk to me right now!But I heard a tv in the background so maybe he was watching tv with his famat 12:40 at night. And another thing is I asked his friend about him once and he told me he was with his girlfriend but I asked his cousin who live with him about it he said he doesn't have one. And he said his friend was just a liar and actually at the time me and the friend wasnt getting along too well. I thought that was pretty weird.

I really dont know what I should do with this "thing" that we have. I reallly can sense a somewhat genuine thing.

View related questions: cousin, liar

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A female reader, gcruz United States +, writes (13 October 2010):

gcruz is verified as being by the original poster of the question

gcruz agony auntI have actually thought about everything all I do is think think think. I would move to spain but I'm pretty sure he would move here too. He is suppose to be coming to the states this in the summer or before so he will be first. I am kinda basing my actions and feelings on that right there. But it won't be easy bc he has to get a visa. So I am just trying to see if he will take those extra steps to come to me.

But he wasn't none of the guys in Spain. All the men there tried to get in my pants within seconds and was just interested in one thing. He didn't even try anything he was very gentlemen and I could tell he was different.

The more we talk the more close I feel to him like he's more comfty with me and me with him. But I really don't know WHO he is. I talk with his friends I met there as well through msn and they give me no info lol like why would they. So I have nothing to go on only by his actions.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010):

Ok let me put it realistically, YOU MET HIM ON YOUR LAST NIGHT IN SPAIN. You knew him properly for one night, it's not goint to work./

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A female reader, dreamingbella Singapore +, writes (12 October 2010):

dreamingbella agony auntBelieve me, once he cares about you, he will make a move to show his feelings out and find a way to be in contact. Since you both live far away from each other, there's no measurement to make sure you have him on your hands. Plus there's some unclear clues have been showed out around him. I must say, you have to carefully consider about this, don't do the whole thing to catch a guy while he does nothing special to you. Be in touch with him and see if he makes a first move, come visit you, then you'll see. If not, don't spend bunch of money to get there and get hurt.

Good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010):

Hi there!

Take a deep breath doll. I feel your emotions are getting the best of you right now. Emotions are good but I feel they may be driving your decision.

Have you thought about the long term and what IFs? What IF he moved to the states? In fact, who would move? You or him if things ever got serious?

People can be anyone online these days and im not saying he isnt who he says he is...id just exercise some caution.

Before you proceed with this guy I think itd be wise to sit down and think about certain dynamics that a LDR can bring to the table. Good luck :)

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