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I liked this boy since 3rd grade, how can I get him back?

Tagged as: Dating, Faded love, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 31 May 2006)
A female , *elicia writes:

Hi I am 13 years old.My name is Felicia Lee. My ex boyfriend,Dalton only went out with me for three days then broke up with me.I had liked this boy since the 3rd grade and now I am in love with him. He told me that he might go back out with me next year,but he now has a new girlfriend,how can I get him back and quickly?

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2006):

DrPsych agony auntTake it easy! You don't love him but you have a gigantic crush on the guy. You dated him for three days and then he left. He is just being a typical 13 year old boy and shopping around to work out what sort of girls he likes to date - it is normal at his age. You cannot control what someone else does, and you cannot make them want to be with you. What's more, because you have fancied him for ages then you would have probably found out that he wasn't that fantastic when you dated him for a while (if it had worked out). I understand that being dumped is horrible, and hurtful, but move on and find another guy who treats you with some respect. What's more, at 13 you have loads and loads of time for the dating thing. Boys mature mentally at a slower rate than girls so you are probably much more mature than he is at the moment. Remember that getting a nice boyfriend is about having self-respect. When that boy from school says he may ask you out again in the next year you should really make a joke of it and say that you cannot find time for him in your busy social calender. First of all, you shouldn't want to be his second choice when he hasn't got anything better to do. Secondly, you should want a boy who treats you like a princess - that sometimes means you don't make it easy for them to be horrible to you, and don't forgive them anything and everything just to get their attention back. Thirdly, you have to see that being single isnt so bad. People who cling to others are just not attractive - independence is really cool. Lots of girls at 13 (and 30!) don't have a boyfriend and they are ok about it as they have their friends, family etc to keep them amused. The right guy for you will come along later in life - just sit back and watch lover boy at school make his way through a string of girls, and if he comes back to you for a date in the future say 'no, I have better things to do'.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2006):

I am suprised you still want to go out with him at all since he effectively labelled you as second best. If he wanted to be with you, it would be now and not next year, and he would want to be with you, and not this other girl. He is using you. He knows it, and you know it. He is keeping you as his backup plan. He clearly has respect for you whatsoever. Move on and find someone else. Good luck.

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A female reader, Hopeful +, writes (31 May 2006):

Hopeful agony auntTo me, he sounds pretty immature and confused.

I understand you care deeply for him but I would recommend giving him some time to think about things.

You don't ever want to force someone to be with you or trick them to getting back together or break up someone else's relationship.

I would try and be friends with him in the meantime and maybe in the future you might be able to go out with him again.

In the meantime (i know its hard) respect that he is seeing someone else and leave it at that.

If he wants to go out with you again, he will ask you.

If not, his loss and you can go out with someone else!

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