A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm curious about this woman, I'm 24, she's 40 odd - she don't look it, I didn't realise before I'd started hitting on her. She didn't stop me, we've been out a few times, we talk constantly but then she wouldn't tell me how old she exactly was. She said she was probably the same age as my folks........does the age gap matter? And does it matter to her?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 June 2013):
 It probably matters to her more than it does to you.
When my husband was 24 I would have been 37. And I can assure you that his 24 yr old persona would never have meshed permanently with my 37 yr old self.
Now at 40 and 53 we mesh just fine.
The older people are the less the age gap matters but at 24 and 40 something, yeah it matters more and she is rightfully concerned about it being something serious since more than likely it won't work out in the long run.
If she's up for fun and games then that's fine. As long as you two are on the same page for what you want that's fine.
If you think you want something serious with her, then you have to consider the fact that you will
a. probably never have children with this woman (if kids are even remotely important to you consider this as an important deal breaker)
b. possibly at a later date have to become somewhat of a caretaker for her as she ages. At 40 something I was very healthy... at 53 I have degenerative disc disease now that makes it difficult for me to do every day tasks or be as mobile as I once once. I am mentally WANTING to do things but physically unable to do them (such as climb a flight of steps while carrying a laundry basket)
Also I have to warn you that while my husband and I are living happily ever after, we did not intend to be more than fun and games... Age gaps are workable but I think WE are pushing it with a 13 year gap... it worked for us because my husband did NOT want children and he knew this.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (16 June 2013):
 She's going out with you, so she's not bothered.
Your going out with her even if you don't know the number.
Why is it important to you? Do you keep her if she's 30 and dump her if she's over 40? You know she's older, so why only ask now if age should make a difference?
Looks good still looks good. But if age is an issue to you, then just ask her.
Good luck.
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