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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have this good guy friend of mine whom i like and im sure he likes me too but our age difference is up to 16.This has been a barrier between us,what should i do. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (29 December 2006):
 Chronological age should mean nothing. It is life experience that can be the barrier to furthing relationships.
Go for it if you feel comfortable. If you don't then don't!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2006): Age is another one of those things we turn into a problem and a barrier to all sort of friendships and relationships. At the root of this problem is a sexism, and an ageism our better selves should be rejecting in the 21st century.
The real issue is that you like his company, so do something about it. Unfortunately, women are socialised into waiting for the man to make the first move, and if there is an age difference, he's socialised into not wishing to appear as a preditor but do the "friendship/nice uncle" thing instead...if he likes you, he's probably suffering.
Be an assertive woman, use the intelligence that most people have, reject other peoples norms and hang-ups, and engage him in direct conversation about your feelings for him, see if its mutual.
best wishes, and hope it works out.
R
best
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A
female
reader, shan21 +, writes (28 December 2006):
 relationships have an amazing way of working out age is a number and you are human you cant help you are attracted to it just happen i have been in situation were the guy was 14 years difference i say go for it you will learn as you get older that i life has a lot of things that we must go through and experience with the opposite sex is one as i said go for it
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A
female
reader, Catlova +, writes (21 December 2006):
Since you are both at least 18, then it is perfectly okay to like each other. Age is basically just a number, but when you are still a minor, it requires permission from your parents, and where I live, the minimum age to date and have sex is 16, as long as it is okay with your parents.
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A
female
reader, Nella +, writes (21 December 2006):
Hiya, since you are in the 18-21 age group you are obviously over age and I think it would be OK to get together if this is what you both want to do. But I know I'm biased because I'm in a wonderful relationship with a man who is 18 years older than me. But I think it's important to establish, firstly that he likes you too, secondly to discuss with him what you feel the barriers and disadvantages are (and obviously there will be issues if it gets serious and you want children and also other people's opinions to deal with.) If you get through all that and decide to go for it, then just keep communicating with each other about how it feels for both of you, and good luck.
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A
female
reader, crystlay +, writes (21 December 2006):
I dont think age is a problem in relationships unless one of them is a minor...which in yor case isnt true so only you can make the decision between the two of you if you think your age difference will effect your relationship then i would say hold off...but if you are ok to give it ago regardless of your age and his age then go for it....but this needs to be a joint decision...dont feel pressured into it and dont make him feel presured either. you both need to agree on this or it wont work.
i hope i've helped
merry christmas
-x-
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