A
male
age
22-25,
*oelsy
writes:Well basically, I got talking to a girl in my school year online, let's call her jane. I'd seen her around but never spoken to her in real life, I had a huge crush on her, so when we started talking I was thrilled. We talked for ages and she said she really liked me, we flirted loads and said that we loved each other and all that but although I did occasionally ask to meet up she always sort of avoided it. Then one day, I was Ill off school and she was out with a friend. Well I was speaking to Jane, we were texting each other and her friend ,let's call her Jenny, got my phone number and started testing me, it ended up with Jenny saying she doesn't love you, and Jane saying she loved me but only as a friend. I was devastated. I kept talking to her, as a friend and that weekend she must have had an argument with her friend and she said she that Jenny shouldn't have spoken to me like that , which I was sort of happy about. She totally split up from her friend Jenny, and got some abuse online. Anyway, I kept talking to Jane and at one point she even asked me for advice about a guy which really hurt me. I didn't show it and helped her out. But she just stopped talking to me completely. I don't have the guts to talk to her in real life and I can't get through to her online for whatever reason. I don't know if I should just let go and move on or try to get her back. Thank you so much if you read all of this and I really appreciate any advice. Thank you.
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crush, flirt, move on, split up, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (25 August 2011):
 it might be scary but just do it anyway! you're only talking to her as a friend, see how things are with her. what's the worst that can happen??
good luck
x
A
male
reader, Joelsy +, writes (24 August 2011):
Joelsy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, I just want to clarify that I have spoken to her outside of school at a music place, we both went in the same group, but it was incredibly awkward when we talked and she stopped going at some point. I'm thinking that the only way to get over her is to talk to her. Properly. It just feels like what I should do, I just lack the guts to do it. Any tips on doing that?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): to us girls,everything is confusing at this age. we long to find our one true love in our heads we have this prince charming who will treat us like his queen and blah blah blah. what you need to understand is this was literally just a social networking site thing or a texting thing. i dont really now how you can even call this a freindship or realtionship cause everytime youve communicated its been done through some form of technology. you never know how person is truley feeling or expressing through a computer or a cell phone, thats why you'll need to meet up and chat face to face. good luck x
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A
female
reader, Blod +, writes (23 August 2011):
 I think you should move on from her. She's not treating you fairly by messing you about like this! You say you've suggested meeting up with her but she's avoided it; I think if she genuinely liked you she would have made the effort. Also, this whole 'I love you but only as a friend' thing is unfair. If she only feels this way then she shouldn't be leading you on!
I know this probably isn't the answer you want to hear but you sound like a decent guy and I reckon you deserve someone better. It's horrible being messed about like this and if you're a shy guy, then being treated this way won't do much for your confidence! Forget about her and move on. She might realize what she's missed then too. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (23 August 2011):
so, have you only ever spoken to her online, never in real life? if you want any chance of going out with this girl you are gonna have to chat to her in school too. does she know who you feel about her?
when she asked for your advice about the other guy this could have been for the following reasons...
she sees you as a friend and was interested in getting a guys opinion on her relationship with the other lad
or it was her way of letting you know that she likes someone else so you would know there was no chance for you
or it was her way of testing you, trying to make you jealous and seeing what your reaction would be, when you were helpful you made it look like you did not care if she liked someone else.
and now she is impossible to contact online - see the above reasons! only she knows why she has done this. the thing with the other lad might just fizzle out anyway, but in the meantime, don't sit around waiting for her, there are lots of other girls you could go out with. give someone else a chance
so be a mate to this girl when you get back to school and see how it goes, ask her how she got on with whats-his-name after you last spoke, hopefully she will tell you its over with him
x
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