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I like them both, which guy do I choose?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 March 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 2 March 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Okay, so I've liked my bestfriends brother for about 4years now (she's okay with it, don't worry haha). He's 3years older than me, making him nearly 21 which has never been a problem for us, we get along really well, flirt, have banter etc. we've been and done things just the two of us and have made it obvious that we find each other attractive many times! We've spoken to each other on and off throughout the past 2 years but have never made anything from it! Recently he's shown a lot more interest in me and him being a 'thing' which is all I've ever wanted really! However in the time of me and him not speaking, ive gotten close to another boy, he was in my year at school so ive known him for a few years too! He's so lovely and funny and I always have such a good time when I'm with him! So I really don't know what to do and my friends are pretty rubbish with advice, PLEASE HELP

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (2 March 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI vote neither.

Dating a BFF's brother? Can go so very wrong and you might end up losing a BFF.. That would suck. And I agree I think the brother likes to "play" he likes to flirt and a little hanky panky here and there, but... I don't think he is really that serious.

The other guy? You have also known him for years, but nothing came off it.

I think, I'd "choose" neither. Because I DO agree with Cindy that is IS a little bit more about getting A boyfriend than getting THE boyfriend.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (2 March 2015):

CindyCares agony aunt I think some people would say : the second. Because the rule of thumb is that if you can even notice, and feel attracted to, a seconf guy ( and, note, the first is not unavailable by definition, or " forbidden ") then it means that you did not like the first that much and yoy were getting tired of him.

My variation on the above pronciple is : neither one. What's wrong with being single ? if you are really undecided between two candidates, I think it means you are not REALLY interested in either. It's more about wanting A boyfriend , than wanting one particular specific person.

If you feel you really MUST choose, though ... I'd vote for the second too. 4 years is a long time at your age,- and if in 4 years you never could go beyond flirty banter and " on and off " - I don't think that he is so sanguine about you. It's more like he feels comfortable with you and the flirting is a fun,benign habit without too much meaning.

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