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I like my best friend's boyfriend, and he likes me too! Help!

Tagged as: Dating, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 November 2007) 14 Answers - (Newest, 27 November 2019)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *himpbud writes:

Hi

A few weeks ago my friend started to date this boy. I new him but i never spoke to him before. I thought i might aswell talk to him cause i would be seeing alot of him cause he was dating my best friend. I said hi and we started to tlk online. I realised that we had so much in commen. One day he attmited that he was really confused, he liked me. Everytime we talk he tells me he dreams about me. I like him too.

Even though he says these things he stays with his girlfriend (my best friend) I didnt know this would happen. I really dont want to hurt anybody but i dont know what to do.

Whats going on? help.

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A female reader, rosecuna South Africa +, writes (27 November 2019):

I also am in the same situation of liking my friends boyfriend i would like to advice anyone who read this that go to your friend and ask her how she would feel if you dated her boyfriend and pls remember the girl code????

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010):

if it happens then just be cool your friend and that dude are not for each other and you need to be normal and if he likes you then its not your fault

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A female reader, jess7733 United States +, writes (18 November 2010):

i've been through this and i told my best friend the truth and she dumped him and was happy that i told her i think u should do this 2 =)

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A female reader, HummDeeDumm United Kingdom +, writes (9 June 2010):

Okay, not Many people have helped you here, and have just kinda said their goin threw the same thing and dontknow what to do, and that isnt helping, and maybe my answer wont help ethier but...

i know its hard but leave it, she is your BESTFRIEND!! i mean if she doesnt mind then go for it, but if she really liked this guy and you get with him, she'll feel as if you aint a true friend, and just a man stealer.

So just talk with her first.

Friends are forever + boys are whatever, right?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009):

Okay I'm going through the same thing and he tells me he likes me and needs me and broke up with my best friend for me. She doesn't know that he likes me and I kinda like him back . I don't know what to do

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2009):

I am going through this too. It's so difficult! But hes not going out with my BEST friend, so I think I am going to go out with him. He is soooo nice. Its a hard choice to make because you know you can't keep both :\

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A male reader, chlez83 Zambia +, writes (28 November 2007):

How much do you care about your bestfriend?How would you feel if a guy you just started dating dumped you for your bestfriend?Would you still consider her your bestfriend? Just stop your flirting with him for your friend's sake.I know you must be thinking of a way of getting him without hurting your friend'd feelings.Too bad,no such way exists.All you can ever have with him is a couple of sexual encounters with him,if no one catches you and if you don't get addicted.Be strong and chat with other guys who may like you.You may end up destroying your friendship.

Take care.

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A female reader, BadAsh6705 United States +, writes (28 November 2007):

BadAsh6705 agony auntOne thing that you need to learn is that your friends' boyfriends are off limits! That's just how it is. You wouldn't want your friend doing that to you, would you? It is wrong of him to flirt with you, even if he would rather have you, he will first have to break it off with your friend and then come to you which will hurt her even more! Don't worry about this guy!!!

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A female reader, Demons Angel United States +, writes (27 November 2007):

My advice would be just be friends if the guy really likes you he'll break up with your friend and then go after you but if he doesn't he's just using you. Sorry sweets wish I could give you better advice but the only thing I can tell you is wait and see.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (27 November 2007):

kenny agony auntI think if you really value your friendship with your best friend then i would try to forget about this guy. I feel he is playing around with you, otherwise he would have left your mate for you already. If you had to choose between the two i would forget about this boy and be truthful to your best mate, because at the end of the day you never no when you may need a friend.

All the best x

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A female reader, KeRrI117 United Kingdom +, writes (27 November 2007):

KeRrI117 agony auntYou must ask yourself did you notice him much before your friend started to date him? Did you really think about him before? But also you need to be very careful because he could also be trying to drive a wedge between you and your best friend he could just be tryin to split use both up.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2007):

Hey girl, dont go there!!!!

The first rule of being a girl. Dont touch your best mates boyfriend. Second rule. Dont touch her left overs!!

If you two were to get together any way, how do you know he wont do that to you too?

Your still young, you still have plenty of time to find someone of your "own". how would you feel if she was doing it to you behind your back? Dont do to others what you dont like done to yourself.

If he felt anything for you hun, he wouldnt still be with her.

Good luck.

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A female reader, clh91 United Kingdom +, writes (27 November 2007):

clh91 agony auntok you probably should either try n stop these feelings for this boy if he's staying around with your best friend or not hang out with him as much coz even if he dumps her you can't really go out with him for a couple of months coz then your best friend might think he dumped her for you, n that could cause arguments which im sure u don't want.

hope i helped :)

feel free to mail message me about anything if u wanna chat

xxx

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A female reader, Cat_87 United Kingdom +, writes (27 November 2007):

Cat_87 agony auntHi!

This boy is trouble! If he's flirting with his girlfriends best friend he obviously does not respect your friend! Do you want a man like this?

If you hold any loyalty to your friend you would tell her whats going on. Both of you should move on and find a boy that respects girls. Good Luck x x x

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