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female
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anonymous
writes: i really like this boy in my school but weve been best friends for soo long, i like him like him to but something keeps stopping me from doin anything, donno why...hes a complete change from my normal type i like tall dark and hansom and hes shorter than me to . he like rock and i like r and b why am i finding it so hard to say yes to him when i am attracted to him? please help my head is fried lol much love
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2007): i think its worth the shot ..... but maybe that is because i want my best friend also but my situation is more complicated.... here is my situation:I have known him for 3 years and he had a crush on me in the beginning, then i had a crush on him but we nvr told each other until we got really close.... and he told me while he had a girlfriend that he had had past feelings for me..... they had been going out for a year and i had the occasional thought but i didnt think i could ever date him.... oh and btw his girlfriend was my best friend UNTIL...she started blaming me for all their problems in their relationship and tht me and him were flirting all the time..... they became rocky and he started saying things like he wondered what itd be like if we kissed and hed play it off with a *haha* online..... after that i thought about it some more and i actually do really like him(trust me i thought about it alot) i just responded with "oh you're jus hitting a bump with her u dont mean that" and recently they broke up.... he went on a trip and kissed another girl but he still says joking things like he wants me and stuff.... and we keep getting into conversations about relationships and he says things like "i want someone to love and cuddle with but i dont want a relationship because they are unecessary" ...so after i was debating about confronting him about my feelings i came to the conclusion that if i did then his ex would EXPLODE with anger and he doesnt even want a relationship so he says..... is this the right conclusion? not to pursue my feelings?PLEASE PLEASE HELP MEsincerely, desperate for help
A
female
reader, xx-miss-cupid-xx  +, writes (20 January 2007):
 Hey x
Opposites do attract. It's true. How long have your relationships lasted with the guys that you have usually gone for? If it's only a little ammount of time, then maybe you should try out other types.
It's good that you've known him for so long...trust and friendship are key parts of a relationship.
However, if you did end up dating, and then you broke up, there would be a chance that you stopped being friends too.
My advice is take it as it comes, try it out and see if you like him, and then if you don't just say: "Maybe we should stay friends for a while."
Don't lose him as a friend ever...you'll regret it if you do!
Good luck!
Cara -x-
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007): So, I have really liked this girl from school for three years or so. I could never pluck up the courage to do anything about it, though, as she had a major obsessive crush on somebody else I knew.
Recently, she started showing interest during a school trip. She did the whole flirting thing. So I thought I had a chance. One of my friends told her I liked her, and she said she wouldn't date me.
However... She suddenly begins showing interest again. I mean, asking me if I want to help her with her studying etc.
Here's where it becomes problematic...
Her friend told me that she doesn't fancy me, but she is flirting with me just so she can get male attention. Apparantly she has done this before, led a guy on only to crush him.
It seems as though she doesn't actually like me, but rather the attention I give her. She apparantly went to lunch with me and my friends, simply because I fancied her.
So... I don't know what to do. Do I completely ignore her? Do I flirt back, even though I am pretty sure it will go nowhere?
I find it hard to believe she'd care that much about attention from me if she no actual interest in me...
Advice would be appreciated
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007): martini's got a good point dude
also
if you judge or define people by the music they prefer this is a habit you should break sooner rather than later as it could make you miss out on a good thing just so as to fall in line with some implicit social definition.
Also the attraction to friends of the opposite sex is just something that happens due to the intimacy that comes with the amount of time you spend with one another. be careful you don;t ruin the friendship for something that MIGHT not last as long of the friendship has.
its a toss up-
Excogito
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A
female
reader, appygal81  +, writes (19 January 2007):
 look at it this way...opposites attract....and u can also lok at it as having something to talk about. I find it easier to date a guy with different interests, as it gives you MORE to talk about....
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A
female
reader, heartxbrokenxgurl +, writes (19 January 2007):
 it rele doesn tmatter if hes the opposite of what u look for as long as hes at least nice to u thats fine n u can always have changes in life because thats what life is all bout changes everyone makes changes in their lifes its part of growing up its who u r n whats around u not for wut type of guy he is u can always give him a try
hope this works
?jenna
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A
female
reader, gabriella lopez +, writes (19 January 2007):
 Even though he's the oppsite of you doesn't mean it can't work out. But it seems like your not ready to take your friendship to a next level. There is more to it than just attraction. When the time is right everything will fall into place. If this is the guy for you, and you don't go for it you could miss your chance and sometimes the best things happen when you least expect it. All I can really tell you is just follow your heart and you'll be fine.
Yours Truly,
Gabriella xXx
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A
male
reader, martini  +, writes (19 January 2007):
 Just because you like your best friend doesn't mean you have to date him/her. There are so many wandering factors in a friendship and in a possible intimate relationship. There are things to weigh aside from just liking him/her.
Eg: before I get into ANY relationship of ANY type, I weigh it in my mind and what type of consequences I may face, benefits singularily and mutually, the possibility of defeat from external and internal sources, etc, etc, etc.
Eg: I could 'like' any of my closer female friends, but I wouldn't choose to date any of them because of varying factors.
The thing is, as AngelOfLove has said, if you don't try it, you may regret it. Then again, if you try it, you may also regret it as well. Everything is a risk. What are you willing to risk to go after something you desire?
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (18 January 2007):
 Even if you have a type of boy you usually go for, it is nature to feel attracted to a different person.
Sharing different taste in music or other interests is not necessarilary a bad thing. Quite the opposite, can be interesting.
How boring would it be if you found a boy that liked everything you liked, no much passion on a conversation.
If you fancy him, his height should not matter and you are probably stopping yourself because he is not the safe/familiar type you go for. Sometimes we tend to be more comfortable with what we are already acustomed to.
Variety is the spice of life, so why not give him a chance?
If you don't, you may always wonder what if?
Good luck x
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