A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What do you do when you are in a rebound relationship after your divorce 6 months ago, you like the man but he's in love and wants to know whether you love him the same way or not right away? I like him but I need time. He seems to know that he wants me already and won't wait.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): If he won't wait, tell him he can go. You know you are not ready. If he knows you are the one, he can wait!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009): I'm in the middle of a relationship like you. My guy is head over heels for me. Which is wonderful. And although I do not call him a rebound (I think he's more than that) I do feel like sometimes he's way a head of me. I think what everyone says about how your divorce is final so he feels you should be ready to jump in. I'm just doing my thing with my guy and hoping he understands he says he will wait and wait for me so ..maybe you should ask him if he can wait a bit, you just might need some time to sort stuff out. I know that there are days I wonder what I'm doing then days I want him so bad myself.
good luck
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 June 2009):
 Just one thing I forgot to add. He can understand your situation, but, what message do you convey by saying you need time? He can't avoid thinking that maybe it's not worth committing that much to someone who isn't sure she loves him. Wear his shoes: What would you think?
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (2 June 2009):
Try to see the situation from his side. He's already sure he loves you, and you're divorced already. In his mind, your situation is final; he can't see why you should not try your luck with him. Neither do I. If the relationship doesn't work out, you can leave him. If it does work, then you didn't waste time.
He can love you immensely, and that ADDS to his desperation. If he didn't care about you, then he wouldn't mind waiting.
I think everyone old enough has lost someone out of thinking too much. Maybe you will, too. I have a bad feeling about your calling this a "rebound" relationship. I hope you haven't called it that in his presence.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009): I think that if this guy really cares about you and respects your feelings, he will be prepared to give you time. It sounds like he is only concerned with what he wants.
I think you should stand your ground with him, and tell him that you want to take things really slowly. If he refuses to accept that, and you start to feel pressured by him, then maybe he isn't the right person for you right now. You are still getting over a divorce, so the last thing you need right now is stress from another guy!
Think of yourself first, and give yourself what you need. And if that is more time, then be firm with that. x
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