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I like him but don't want to waste my emotions only to find out he doesn't feel the same way!

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating, Friends, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 May 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2016)
A female Uganda age 18-21, anonymous writes:

I have been battling depression for a couple of years, I have never dated because I'm always too scared. I always cut them off as soon as possible. Recently I met this guy, he is one hell of a something, he is always happy and full of life, unlike me, besides that we are both dreamers. I tried to cut him off a few weeks after we met, but he didn't let me. He is truly a blessing and he says the right things, Usually when I get my episodes I cry and shut everyone out, but for the first time i called someone. My whole day brightens just by a text or a call from him.

I'm just so scared that I might fall for him and he will say something like we are just friends. I have tried to drift away from him but its really hard. he told me he loves me but not love just love. we have kissed twice so far and its pure heaven. But I can't help but feel he will walk out on me someday. I like him I just don't want to waste my emotions only to find out he doesn't feel the same

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (16 May 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntOkay first off, are you getting medical help for your depression and is it under control? If not then go to your doctor or talk to someone who is in mental health. You need to get yourself sorted to begin with. You say you are scared of dating, my guess is that you have anxiety as well as depression and you are possibly battling the two of them.

Pushing people away from us to guard ourselves might make sense at the time, but in the long run it will only make you feel more sad and alone than if you have people around you who love you. He sounds like a good guy, someone who could possibly help with your low episodes and give you some happy times as well. You may both have different personalities but that does not mean you cannot work together as being a couple. It is great that you have reached out to this guy. That is a big step forward for you and your personal battle, so you should be proud that you are taking small steps to make yourself happier.

It is okay to feel scared to fall for someone, we all have that fear. But sweetie nobody knows what the future holds, if we don't allow ourselves to fall in love with someone then we would be missing out. Okay so it may not work out between you both, but it is still worth giving it a try. Talk to him, and ask him does he ever see himself dating you. He loves you at the moment but he may not be in love with you. That is okay because these things take time to develop. What makes you feel he will walk out on you? I don't see any signs that he is planing on doing this. But you do need to be honest with him about how you are feeling. Let him know that you like him. Remember even if things don't work out with you long term, it won't be wasted emotions, it will be a learning curve in life and love.

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A female reader, princessparkles United Kingdom +, writes (14 May 2016):

princessparkles agony auntthat is a toughy.you should just follow your heart and if he says were just freinds then hes not good enough for you

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (14 May 2016):

I think you should give it a chance. He is patient enough to try. We always take risks in connecting with other people. You never know how things will turn out. You have to allow yourself some happiness; and learn to deal with things, even when they don't turnout the way you plan them.

Life is never really predictable. You can't always sabotage relationships to end on your terms. Your self-fulfilling prophesy approach to relationships by ending them before they start doesn't make any sense, my dear. How do you know how he feels about you, when your plan is to ditch him to avoid the unknown?

You shouldn't rush your feelings anyway. Take time to get to know him. See where things will go, and enjoy what you have; even if it doesn't last forever. You deserve it, sweetie! If he just wants to be friends, and that's not enough for you; that's when you end it. Then deal with it like an adult. You can't live a lifetime of avoidance. That will only feed more into your depression. Always wondering what could have been.

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