A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have known this girl for about two years but only about 2 months ago i realised that i really liked her. a few weeks ago i gathered up the courage to ask her out but to my huge disappointment, her reply was "sorry i have a boyfriend but i like you too." After some asking of people that know her, i found out that she has had the boyfriend for about 4 years but they now live away from each other and they only see each other about twice a year if that. We still go on as normal (well close enough), she doesnt avoid me or anything and we still say hi to each other and stuff but it seems slightly awkard. Also, there has been no talk about her boyfriend or me asking her out at all. My question is: what should i do? I still really like her and can't stop thinking about her. I am just confused as what to do next. I want to retain our friendship if that is my only choice other than forgetting her but i would still rather go out with her if possible. Do i have a chance? Should we just be friends? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): sometimes in a way being just friends with her can help because if you be friends with her and she knows you like her more then a friend but you've not been going on saying it everytime u see her otherwise it'll annoy her if your a nice enough bloke and spend enough time with her as a friend shell probly see your better for her and would make her happier its what happend to me mate my girlfriend had a boyfriend but where she got to know me alot more and knew i could love her more then he could then she got with me because i dont care what anyone says if you prove to them you can love her better then him you will get her mate trust me just be yourself and you'll get her hope this helps
A
female
reader, lemontree +, writes (7 November 2007):
I feel for you, love is painful sometimes. Neither of you is married, so basically you are free agents. Also they say that all is fair in love and war, so really there is nothing to stop you trying to take her away from the BF. However, I'm sorry to say, that if she already knows how you feel, and is still with him, then you have to accept that she maybe prefers him. But you could work on making yourself more desirable. You could work on your physical appearance, e.g. go to the gym to tone up, get a new haircut/smart clothes etc. You could try and find out more about her. We all like people who take an interest in us, and she could then think you have a connection/common interest. Good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2007): Alright man, I know what its like. I to have been there and I'm still there. You got two options, Steal her away or wait. But I must warn you I've been waiting for over two years for my freind to dump her boyfriend. And if your anything like me i know your not ready to give her up. It really sucks, I know. Personnally, I say steal her away. If you dont you'll look back and feel as though you've waste your life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): to be honest, i feel that your best option is to wait. If you wait till she has broken up with her boy friend you then can reassess your feelings. If you still like her then you can ask her out again but i bet that by that time you will have moved on and so you won't have to have any problems. My advice is just to wait. Hope i have helped.
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A
female
reader, americanchick0712  +, writes (30 October 2007):
Just because you cant go out with her there is no reason you cant go out. Talk to her tell her that you know that you cant go out but it would be great to be friends with her. You never know you might get closer by being friends. Hope I could help. Email if i did
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): Hi,I am in a similar situation to you, I like a guy who has a boyfriend. Don't make a move on her until she has broken up with her boyfriend, she knows you like her and that's enough for now. Like Kenny said, if she comes available in the future than ask her out x
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (29 October 2007):
 I would havr respect that she is currently in a realtionship, so on this basis i would refrain from making a move. If she ever becomes available in the future then ask her out then.Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): Ok, I'm a female, and I would like to say that I have been in your situation before, only it was a boy I liked but he had a girlfriend. What I did, I let him know that I liked him, and he was ok with that. But I didn't make a move on him, because he was already out with someone else. Flirt with her a little and if she reacts in a good way, take it a little further. If not, then act as if you were only messing about, shrug it off, then carry on as mates. But stay away for now. If you really like her, you wouldn't want to ruin her life/relationship because she will be hurt and upset. I hope I have helped you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): She is with someone. She isnt yours so why are you hanging around. If i was you i would run like hell. She will never be anything to you. sorry, but i think you are wasting your time. Being friends with her will just compound the pain, watching her with someone else. Keep your distance mate.take carexx
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