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I like giving men blow jobs - am I gay?

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 March 2008) 48 Answers - (Newest, 22 June 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, *7Irish17 writes:

I have always wanted to know what it was like to give another man a BJ. I answered an ad and got to know this guy. I went over to his house and gave him a BJ. I did enjoy it!

Now my problem is, I want to do it again. I like giving the BJ part, but I dont find men themselves sexually attractive.

I dont think I am gay. I have had gf's in the past. Am I bi sexual or am I addicted to giving other men BJ's, or is it something else? I am confused about this.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (22 June 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntGosh, the OP's had over two years to figure this out. I wonder if he ever reached a conclusion?

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A male reader, SoNotVanilla United States +, writes (22 June 2010):

Oh come on people, he is straight. By your own definition, gay or bi is having another mans dick in your mouth. Well, ok so about me? I can suck my own dick. My wife gets off on it and I like to do it for. So your saying I'm gay or bi because i know what my cum taste like? And so, a woman that can lick her own nipples bi or gay? Obviously not. A woman that knows what she taste like is hardly gay either. No she is probably more curious what others would think about her.

It is a fantasy you indulged and, given the newness and curiosity that led to starting it may fade. Your distaste for the male form over the female form probably won't either. The point being every guy thinks about it. Some guys may indulge the fantasy. All straight men will have the same question....am I really gay? No sir, your not. I am sure there are holes in these argument but the logic seems sound.

Dicks are pretty cool but if I wasn't able to perform a bj on my cock I likely not seek another man out. I to see nothing attractive about a man.

Chris

And.......No I am not bragging, 7" is hardly competition for king kong dicks in porn. No I have a really flexible spine.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010):

People, especially guys, love to pretend that sexuality is an either/or thing. "You're either gay, bi, or straight." Bullshit.

Sexuality is a spectrum, with exclusively heterosxual and exclusively homosexual on either end. You fall somewhere in the middle, more on the straight side than the gay side, because you are primarily interested in forming sexual relationships with women, but you seek a particular form of sexual gratification elsewhere.

That doesn't make you gay, no matter how hard some would like to believe it does.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2010):

Being straight,gay or bi are just other peoples labels if you want to give some guy a Blow Job do it no one goes to the grave thinking I should have had less sex,after all a dead man with an erection is termed "Angel Lust"So no erections should go unloved they all should be used to their magnificent best.

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A male reader, rivi United States +, writes (15 June 2010):

God the judgmentalism ! The insistence on Labels !

If you insist on a label the nearest would prob be BI.

But why insist ?

Why not just enjoy doing what you-re doing with willing partners male and female ?

Only thing I would worry about is STDs esp HIV which is on the increase although for some reason has dropped below the radar.

If you can get pleasure out of it I would insist on the guy wearing a condom; even tho it reduces the pleasure. You are at real risk of HIV otherwise; and of course passing it on to others.

On second thoughts if you can enjoy sex with females that might be a lot safer long term. Or anal with guys using condoms of course.....

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A male reader, robisbisexual United States +, writes (15 June 2010):

You're not gay, your bisexual. Sucking a guys cock is one of the most enjoyable things to do, for a guy. I used to suck cock, now I am married with kids. I am bisexual. I could not thing of falling in love with a guy, that is for the gays. I just wanted to experience the sex part of it, thats it. I look at women when in public, not men, so I know that sucking cock is just a sexual thing. After all, a guy's cock is so awesome. I love it. But by the way, don't worry about the labels, if you suck cock, eat pussy, or both, what does it matter what you call yourself, just enjoy it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2010):

You are bi, not gay, obviously. Most straight men discover that after they have given their first blowjob, they will compulsively do it over and over. Sucking cock is very addictive, psychologically.

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A female reader, chacalonfan Peru +, writes (21 April 2010):

OK, who are we kidding? Yes you are gay. Face it, if you like to give other men blowjobs, then you are gay. You are just trying to rationalize and not accept it. If I were dating a guy who would reveal to me that he liked giving other men blowjobs, I would not see him again. For one, I could get seriously sick (herpes and gonorrhea).

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A female reader, ScarletLedbetter United States +, writes (13 January 2010):

ScarletLedbetter agony auntIt doesn't seem that you are, but if so, who cares?! If you still enjoy the female for most intents & purposes, I'd consider you bi at best. That said, I think this is extremely hot & would fancy my "mate" performing such in front of me. Don't feel the need to label...remember sexuality is a spectrum, far from the black & white so many still consider it to be. Keep up the good work!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010):

i have that same problem, well i havent done it before but i want to. so idk the answer to that, but if you enjoy it so much i got a big one for you!!!! :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010):

I think you are healthy, happy and enjoy what u enjoy

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A male reader, joanz United Kingdom +, writes (31 December 2009):

I believe I am bi even though my wife and I have a good relationship I still like to suck a man I really prefer uncut and will take my time over one with a foreskin but seem to hurry with a cut one ... I dont care how I'm labelled I try to enjoy life

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A male reader, rhapsodie United States +, writes (19 June 2009):

I'm not certain about the label 'gay' because you seem to

have little or no interest in a sexual relationship with a

man. Just because you enjoy sucking cock does not mean you

are committed to having sex with men exclusively from now on.

What it does indicate, is that you are exploring your sexual parameters and are not inhibited by societal taboos regarding

homosexual behavior. Enjoy what you enjoy but play safe.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009):

There are quite a few people that don't know much about sexuality out there! There is good research out there that shows that most straight men fantasize about sucking another man's cock. Many men don't don't ever act on it, because they fear that it means they are gay, even though it means nothing of the sort. Some men act on it and find that they enjoy it, but still prefer to be with women because they lack any true attraction to other men. All men would suck their own cock if they could! Men know that they could probably give better head than a woman, because we have a better understanding of the organ. Many women do the same thing with other women for some of the same reasons. Now, if you find that you ogle men and fantasize kissing other men and spending the night with other men, you may in fact really be gay or bisexual. Sexuality is complicated and most straight men are socialized to be freaked out at the possibility of being gay. Men are mostly pretty insecure about sexuality because of this. Sex acts have little to do with being gay or straight.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009):

Who cares what you are, society will evolve hopefully. It is more a question of being ok with who you are and living life to the full. If you have a girlfriend how would she react?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009):

You are not gay. I am the same way. I consider it a penis fetish. I am not whatsoever attracted to men, and I am completely attracted to females. However, the penis is unbelievably sexual organ and the idea of being with one turns me on completely.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009):

The Psychological Community have a saying, "if there is more than one penis in the room (during sex), it is about being gay or homosexual."

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A male reader, 17Irish17 United States +, writes (18 January 2009):

17Irish17 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well, thank you all for your helpful suggestions. I have gotten the urge to give another blowjob... so I have contacted my friend and I will be going over to relieve him later on. I don't have feelings for him, I just like to suck him off!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009):

you see I am also like to give men a good header eventhough I am a father of 4 children.I believe that since we are born we have to make each other happy and nothing please a guy more than a good bj.He will also give you more attention and you will feel satisfied everytime.

So I say you are not gay but a bi sexual who enjoys a good header here and there.I think the relationship has to be confirned to a few good ones only .I feel satisfied everytime I give a man a header and nothing else.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008):

You question is really interesting. I feel the same way. I thought of myself as gay for years but really I just like sucking a penis from time to time. I have no real interest in a realationship with a man, just sucking his penis sometimes. Sex is a wonderfull gift and does not need to have labels

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2008):

I have a question for Mr. resonder on (8 March 2008).

=) I am gay and only have boyfriends and enjoy all kinds of sex with a man, but occasionally like to have sex with a very attractive woman and totally love the oral sex related part, so do you Mr. ((8 March 2008) think I'm straight?

NOOOOOO, I hope not!

So please don't tell 'Mr. Straight blow job liker' that he's gay, cause he's not, he's just lucky enought to try something he's curious of and leave it at that and occasionally try do it again. Anyways - All of you have a great sex life and don't be afraid of anything you'd like to try.

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A female reader, MissUnique United Kingdom +, writes (14 November 2008):

MissUnique agony auntI think you may be a tiny bit bisexual, I mean, you've done it, and found yourself wanting to do it again, so that kind of says 'Bisexual' Hey, you might not be, but just because you've had relationships with girls and everything does not make you qualify for being a heterosexual. Maybe a threesome would appeal to you, maybe it's just a phase of you trying to figure out what you want.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2008):

No you are not fully Gay.. I'm the same way.. I like giving a Good Blow job.. But after we are done ..it is thank you and good by.. Kind of Like playing Tenis..We had fun got our rocks off ..but have no interest in setting up house or being a Couple with six dogs...

Ps I'm married three kids...and give about or two BJ a year .. put play tenis weekly....:)

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A female reader, Cherriepie United States +, writes (12 November 2008):

Cherriepie agony auntPlease dont take offense but I think you are gay.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008):

you know what, i don't think your gay at all. for example there are plenty of girls ive seen going down on other girls just to look hot or turn me or a boyfriend on, but i don't think they are lesbians. sometimes people just do what feels good and i think thats what ur doin.

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A male reader, Rex United States +, writes (30 October 2008):

I would not say your gay, just wanted to try it out. I've been with a lot of women and two guys. One we just made out and the other we gave each other blow jobs and I would not mind doing it again. Does not make me gay.

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A female reader, leighsmith United States +, writes (15 October 2008):

You enjoying giving blow jobs is what it is ... just that ... sucking dick. It doesnt define you in anyway. Like i am in a female you are a male, sure we are outwardly different, physically, hormonally blah blah.

they are separate who we are and what we do.

the only concern i have for you is society, being in a heterosexual relationship and giving guys blow jobs is tricky.

I would suggest exploring more of who you are, be positive, and think wonderful loving thoughts about yourself.

and always have some people in your life ( not just the comp)

that you can be honest with about every aspect of your life.

Be healthy and good to you first and foremost.

Have a great day.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008):

i am the same way i like cock but not men its not that weird ive seen forums and threads and stuff all about being like that ur fine and i'd say straight by the sound of it

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2008):

I think you are gay or bisexual. You are attracted to giving oral sex to someone of the same sex, and that is something that a strait man or woman wouldn't be turned on to. Example: I'm strait, I find the women body beautiful and sexual, but I don't fantasize about going down on a woman and I wouldn't want a woman to have sex with me. If I did, I would have to admit I'm bi or gay. Maybe you like to experiment and this is a 'phase' but I doubt that very much. It's nothing to be ashamed about as I'm sure you know. Would you want a man to give you a BJ? It seems strange to only want to pleasure the other person.

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A male reader, slartyremnant United States +, writes (13 August 2008):

I think bi-sexual is the correct term here. The important thing is to think of yourself however you want and don't give a care in the world what anyone else thinks. People will "label" you however they choose and it always says much more about them than it does you.

I haven't gone through with my fantasy of giving a man a blowjob yet, but I will someday and when I do I'll enjoy it to the fullest and not allow anyone (including myself) to put a label on me.

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A male reader, oldfool Australia +, writes (8 June 2008):

oldfool agony auntI find amazing the arrogant male voices chiming in to declare categorically that you're gay or bi. These men are totally unimaginative and insecure in their sexuality.

If you don't think of yourself as gay, you're not. The thing is, you don't LOVE men, you just have a ... what might I call it ... a penis fetish :) It's a slight perversion, but it doesn't impact on your masculinity or your ability to love and make love to women.

Anyway, don't worry about it. There are lots of rednecks out there who love to label people. Don't take any shtick from them. They have their heads too far up their anuses to see anything clearly.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2008):

You are'nt gay. I also like giving blowjobs, and have done it for about 30 years. I have been married for 23 years, and have no interest in having a relationship with a man. And yes, my wife knows about my love for blowjobs.

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A male reader, meeker61 Ireland +, writes (28 April 2008):

I don't think you're gay or bi. I am staight and have done the same thing.The thought of sucking a guy off turns me on because it's wrong and because i'm being used. it's a perversion for me. But for a gay person they wouldn't feel it was wrong or a perversion.I am only attracted to women and gay porn just does nothing for me.

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A male reader, previasc96 United States +, writes (23 April 2008):

You aren't gay. your not attracted to men, just cock. Every man likes cock, but most only like their own cock and that's why they can jerk off and have an orgasm. I wouldn't suggest you keep sucking peoples cocks though, maybe just keep seeing this one guy when you have the erge

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008):

hmmm, yeah, right. I like giving blowjobs too. No, I love giving blowjobs, but I'm not gay. I am bi. No question about it. Even though I won't kiss a man, won't touch his ass and don't really like hugging a guy, I know for a fact I'm not straight. But I love women too much to be gay. The fact that you enjoy and desire sex from men means you are not straight. If you enjoy and desire sex from women then you are not gay. hmmm, happy middle ground, your bi. So, what difference does it make now that you can label yourself?

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A female reader, lil_lezza United Kingdom +, writes (2 April 2008):

lil_lezza agony auntI have a friend who is gay and he has a boyfriend. But he still loves to fondle womens breasts and to look at them. But he isnt attracted to women other than there breasts.

So i dont think you are gay or bisexual. Maybe as you get older you may find that you start becoming attracted to men. But right now you are straight.

Oh and for the anonymous male that said "would you believe a lesbian who claimed she didn't find men attractive but nonetheless was dying to give a blowjob?" i know quite a few lesbians who arent attracted to men but will give them blowjobs. They are attracted to women but would enjoy having a dick to play with as well, probably if it wasnt still attached to the male.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008):

you are BI.

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A female reader, brooke5426 United Kingdom +, writes (20 March 2008):

brooke5426 agony auntI think the male heterosexual community tend to be very ignorant and terrified of anything at all related to homosexuality. I've only ever had relationships with men, and am only attracted to men and know i will never want to be in a relationship with a woman. But once I fooled around with my female best friend. Am I as gay as it gets?

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A male reader, SamuraiRick United States +, writes (8 March 2008):

SamuraiRick agony auntLet me say this in plain english so there's no confusion: YOU ARE GAY! In fact giving men bj's and enjoying it defines you as gay! I'd even say you are more gay by giving and enjoying bj's than if you got banged by another guy. You can deny it all you want and have all your female friends pat you on the back and say you can call yourself what you want, but in tht real world... you are gay!

I notice that a lot of women are very forgiving and playing it nice. Sorry, pal, but you are defined as gay not only by your thinking but by your acts. I think the male heterosexual comminity has got to agree with me here.

You are a bonafide Gay.

Not that there's anything wrong with it.

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A male reader, 17Irish17 United States +, writes (6 March 2008):

17Irish17 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you all so much for your response. I do find women attractive, and continue to have relationships. I find myself more attractive to the act of giving a blowjob not the person.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008):

If two women hug, that is alright, women can do that, even if they are straight.

If two men hug, they are gay. Society simply is far stricter when it comes to males then when it comes to females.

Blowing another guy. Well that certainly puts you in the gay camp. Having had GF's in the past doesn't mean shit. You wanted to know what it felt like to have another guys dick in your mouth. Our society doesn't even allow you to say "that guy looks handsome".

You don't find men sexually attractive you claim, so why do you want to suck on their dick? Come on, who are you kidding here? Turn it around, would you believe a lesbian who claimed she didn't find men attractive but nonetheless was dying to give a blowjob? WHY?!?

You are gay (or bi-sexual) and you are attracted to men. You are to old to simply be experimenting especially since you already had GF's.

Plenty of people are bi-sexual, meaning they are intrested in either sex, but our society will judge you as being gay. Not fair, not right but you will have to decide if you are willing to deal with this.

But don't beat around the bush kid, no hetero male sucks dick. I wish you lots of strength whatever you decide to do, sadly you will need it in our society with its increasing hatred of non-hetero people.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008):

Surely by your age you know whether you're gay or not!? Be honest with your feeling and you should be able to work this out for yourself. You obviously find something about men to be attractive or you wouldn't want to give them blow jobs, so at the least you must be bisexual. You failed to mention whether you have any attraction to women?

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A male reader, futurelawyer United States +, writes (5 March 2008):

Totally Gay. Without a doubt, hands-down, gay. sorry if you don't want to be gay, but dude, that's as gay as it gets.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008):

Seriously, read back the question you've asked... "I like giving men BJ's... Am I gay..???"

Yes, you're gay...

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A female reader, brooke5426 United Kingdom +, writes (5 March 2008):

brooke5426 agony auntIt sounds like its just curiosity and maybe you like it cos it feels a bit "naughty" to you? you say you're not sexually attracted to men so that makes me think you're not gay and not bisexual.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008):

Uhm, I think you are gay if the definition of homosexual is same sex sexual encounters or relations....it is just a word, sounds like you are experimenting with sex with men.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008):

You dont have to define yourself as anyhting in paricular if you dont want to. I personally would say that this would be bisexual, but if you dont want to think of yourself as that, then dont!!

Maybe you are just deeveloping and as you are getting more comfortable with your own sexuality, you will find yourself attracted to both men and women, or maybe youll just have some fun with some blokes and thatll be all, but either way, dont worry about it so long as every one is a concentng adult, have some fun and explore your sexuality!!

:-D

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A female reader, Jmo United States +, writes (5 March 2008):

Jmo agony auntI don't think this necessarily means you're gay. it could be a multitude of things. Maybe you're turned on by giving men blowjobs because it seems taboo to you. Maybe it's just penises that turn you on. Maybe you get off on playing a submissive role in a sexual encounter. Maybe you really do have homosexual tendencies. Either way, you Do need to be extremely careful when answering sex ads, anonymous sex can be a turn-on but it can also be very dangerous. I think that whatever the appeal of giving men bjs when you're not sexually attracted to them, the important thing is that YOU are fine with it and more importantly CAREFUL about pursuing it. Have fun be safe and I wish you the best of luck.

-Jmo

P.S. maybe a threesome would appeal to you :)

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